#2436 - Whitney Cummings

[00:14] Yeah, he just holds on to him. [00:16] Oh! [00:18] And he holds on to him, then he swaps him out. [00:21] for a new one. [00:22] Was the unlit cigarette like the original fidget spinner? [00:27] Well, most people don't do it because most people, when they have a cigarette in their hand, they want to light it. But dice... [00:34] has got the ability to just hold on to the cigarette. Do you remember when candy cigarettes were a toy for kids? [00:41] Yeah, I had those. Oh, yeah. They were priming you. Totally. And they would poof, like sugar would come out. No, I don't remember that. Oh, yeah, you'd go poof. [00:50] And like powder sugar would come out. Really? Yeah. Yeah. [00:52] Am I right, Jamie? Am I making that up? I remember them just being like a candy that you suck on. Or was that just the cocaine my parents put on it? It was just a candy stick. A nasty chalk stick. Maybe there was a different one. Maybe there's more than one kind of candy cigarette. Couldn't you? There was like gummy cigars, I remember. [01:09] And then the candy cigarettes. That must have been them just trying to get you... [01:13] Addicted to just like the motion of it or like participate with your parents or something. Yeah, it was just a way to sell candy, but probably also engineered by the tobacco companies. That was back when they were lying about cigarettes being addictive too and causing cancer. They used to prescribe it to pregnant women, right? They used to prescribe it for kids with asthma. [01:34] Yeah. You need to strengthen those lungs up, fella. And this is my favorite thing. Did they know... [01:40] They already knew. Yeah, they already knew. They already knew. [01:42] Everybody had to know. You smoke cigarettes for a while. You start coughing up black shit. You feel terrible. According to the internet, this pack did have some sort of would blow smoke, according to this person on Facebook. Whoa. Which is like sugar. I don't remember a PlayLighter or a lighter battery. A battery? I don't know what that is. Smoke that was stuck on this battery. What the fuck? As kids, we would suck on actual batteries. We didn't need one to come. Oh, yeah. Remember when you lick them? Dude, we would just try to light sugar. Just a square one. Yeah.

[02:12] Nine volts. We'd be in school just like, lick it, lick it, lick it. Yeah, we would lick it just to get a jolt in your tongue. It is wild. Like, yes, the phones are obviously very bad for kids. But when you think about the stuff we did as kids, I was just like, I would just hang out with a light socket for like two hours. It's all I needed. A paper clip, light socket. Light socket. [02:31] Or like a, yeah, the electric socket, electric socket, you would go into an electric socket with a paperclip. [02:38] Did no one else do this? That's really bad. Did you inhale glue or no? [02:43] Oh, I sniffed it. Rubber cement? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, okay. Oh, I used to love making models. I used to make like Godzilla models. You know, those... Oh, with glue. Remember those models? Yeah. You had rubber cement glue. Remember those? Yeah, yeah. You would... And Elmer's too. Yeah. You could peel it off your skin. We'd just put it on our skin and just peel it off. Oh, yeah. Just like a leprosy fetish or something. Yeah. Yeah. [03:02] The rubber cement glue was a big one, though. A lot of people sniff glue. [03:07] We used to have a glue gun. My mom had a glue gun. [03:10] For what? Like a hot glue gun to crafts, arts, crafts. Okay. Kill men. I don't know. When you look back at shit your parents did, you're like, what was that? What were you interested in? Why did she have powdered gold and put it in coffee of the men she was dating? What was that? But like a glue gun. Like there was just so much dangerous shit growing up. When I think about my injuries as a kid, I'm like, yeah, I got burned on the glue gun. Everyone's like, huh? Huh? [03:32] Yeah, they weren't looking out for kids back then. [03:35] Like, when did they start, like, worrying about dangerous toys? [03:40] I mean, after, like, the 50th lawn dart, you know, aorta puncture. Oh, I remember the lawn darts. Those are crazy. You're just throwing, like. It's a fucking weapon. And they were heavy. If they hit you in the head, you would die. Dude, it was just, like, tetanus. Right in the heart. Let's look this up. How many people do you think have died from lawn darts? By the way, way more than is reported, for sure. Right, right, right.

[04:05] It has to be dozens. And seesaws. [04:09] Uh, yeah. You remember Seesaw's? Fucked a lot of people. No seatbelt. No, just... [04:14] just plywood with handles. - Right, with a handle. - But we would also, it's such a testament to our nature, 'cause we would make it even more dangerous. Like remember, you'd be on the seesaw, like if you were up, I would, [04:24] You'd like jump off it. Oh, yeah. Watch the kids just to watch the kid fucking plummet to the earth. So sadistic. Just careen to the ground. What is our sponsor perplexity said? Pointed metal lawn darts were officially linked to three child deaths in the United States before they were banned. Just three? Definitely more than that. Officially linked from 78 to 86. Approximately 6,100 to 6,700 people were treated in U.S. emergency rooms for lawn dart injuries, most of them children. [04:53] found Londart injuries led to a 4% case fatality rate in its patient sample with many severe head and eye injuries, which helped justify the eventual ban. [05:05] So only a couple, but mostly children. I would like to know the story of the adults. But, I mean, people hit people with shovels. All the time. [05:14] I guess it was because lawn darts are a toy that they had a bandit. Yeah, there was a lot of that. Remember – [05:23] What are the pogo sticks? Mm-hmm. I mean, those were so dangerous when you think about it. They were just like, they were just like always. They still have those, though. Pogo sticks? Those were hard to do. I also looked up the most dangerous toys for kids. Trampolines. Remember the ones with the metal coils? Oh, did you ever see the Atomic Energy Lab in the 1950s? Yes. Yeah, it actually had legitimate radioactive material. I love that they were like, you know what, guys? Child labor. This is inhumane. This is wrong. Come. Go. Play with some toys.

[05:53] radioactive uranium bomb. Well, didn't Michio Kaku make a, some sort of a reactor in his basement or his backyard or something like that when he was a child? Shit. Yeah. Legend. [06:08] Well, he's like a legitimate scientist. But I mean, when he was a child, he made a fucking nuclear reactor in his backyard. I went to get, um, NyQuil or Sudafed the other day and they made me show my ID. Oh yeah, because you can make meth with it. Right, right, right. [06:23] Sick. Meanwhile, you can get a prescription for Adderall. You just say you have ADHD. I don't even think you have to do that. You just have to be like, I'm bored. Right. I'm neurodivergent. Yeah. Right. [06:33] I mean, it's all self-diagnosed. You can't concentrate. Are we going to look back the way that we look at like, you know, the Nazis and go like they were on meth? Are we going to look back in like 20 years and be like everyone was on meth? Yeah, everyone's on Adderall. That's for damn sure. I mean, the amount of journalists that are on Adderall is off the charts. A friend of mine was telling me like all of his colleagues take Adderall. [06:54] - To help them work. - Yeah. - 'Cause they have so many projects that they're doing that require intense fucking research and they're-- - Googling, saying chat GPT, please write my article for me. Did you see, I think it was the New York Times, or someone left in. [07:10] Jamie, do you remember the prompt that ends what it spits out on ChatGPT to prove that they had just copy and pasted it? [07:20] Like wilds. [07:21] Yeah, well, there's a lot of that. There's a lot of shitty people in every walk of life. There's bad doctors, bad plumbers, bad journalists.

[07:29] But... [07:30] A lot of them are on Adderall. A lot of them are on Speed. [07:34] It's just that there's so much adrenaline out there to get. There's so many, like, natural ways, I feel like, to get that, you know? Yeah, but I don't think it covers you. And I think if you really want to, like, sit in front of that fucking computer and bang out words, it seems like Adderall's the way to go. But if you really do have ADD or whatever this is, like, I'm the first to say, like, what are all these diagnoses? But... [07:54] because I was prescribed five milligrams slow-release Adderall to sleep [07:59] To sleep. If you actually have it, it calms you down. It doesn't amp you up. What is it? [08:04] What is this? ADHD? The inability to focus or a busy brain. Dude, I look, I just I think a lot of our superpowers are being dull. A lot of people's superpowers are being dulled by pharma and we're being pathologized for actually kind of extreme strengths, you know, in a lot of ways. [08:23] This summer, the Cup is taking over the U.S., and only DraftKings has you covered every step of the way. Follow every group stage upset, every knockout round thriller, every stoppage time moment that flips the whole tournament. Sweat all the big matches you love in real time with a seamless experience built for the world's biggest stage. No matter where you're watching, you're always connected and in the game with one app.

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[10:28] Plus, get free shipping. Just go to thefarmersdog.com slash rogan. This offer is for new customers only. Let's talk about Service Titan, the AI for the trades. The trades are the backbone of this country, and for the first time, they've got technology that actually matches the work. Over 10,000 contractors already use Service Titan software to run their businesses. [10:58] tech company guessing at solutions. Now Service Titan is building an AI trained on real trades workflows, not generic internet data. This is AI designed specifically for contracting work, HVAC, plumbing, electrical, and more. It's booking calls while you sleep, dispatching your texts, helping you run your back office, growing your revenue. One platform, fully automated, [11:28] Still trying to figure out AI. The trades are about to lead from the front. Service Titan, the AI for the trades. Learn more at servicetitan.ai. - So. - There's a lot of like legitimate people that are arguing that about ADHD. - Okay, good, I'm not like a nut. - No, like legitimate psychologists, neuroscientists, it's what it is, is you can't concentrate on things you're not interested in, but you can concentrate on things you're interested in, like heavily, like. - Mm-hmm. [11:57] People that are – that supposedly have ADHD, they can play video games for fucking 10 hours a day. That's right. That's exactly right. Well, how come? Because it's exciting. Oh, they can't sit in a classroom and watch some pedophile lecture them on fake history while they're getting hemorrhoids in some, like, chair with, like, shitty lighting above them? I mean, it's like, yeah, of course kids are bored. Of course they can't sit still. Exactly.

[12:27] first on the things they want to do. So by the time they do learn to read, they actually, you know, can focus. That sounds like a terrible idea. You're going to be so far behind my kids. [12:36] Well, yeah. I mean, look. Kids in America learn how to read when they're little babies. If at all. If at all. If they do. [12:44] Like, I mean, yeah, that's the other thing. When it's like, don't teach kids to read. It's like, by that time, is Nerling just going to learn to read for them? Who knows? It's interesting, like, having a kid now, I'm like, what world do I prepare them for? Do I even teach them Mandarin, or is that just going to... [12:56] Be like, remember when U2 just put a song on our phone? Mm-hmm. It was so weird. Well, that was Apple's idea. And, you know, I talked to Bono about that. He was, you know, it was devastating for them because all of a sudden everyone hated U2. They used to love U2. Yeah. They had so many hits. They're so good. And then all of a sudden, fuck you. Why are you on my phone? Isn't that interesting? The human nature of I love something unless you force it on me. [13:18] Yeah. [13:19] Well, it's just people are always looking for a reason to complain. And if you have this song on your phone right away, like, hey, fuck these guys. But also I want to hunt. Let me find it. Let me feel like I discovered something. Well, I think they just thought it would be a great way to promote this new album. And they just really didn't understand human nature. It's also, yeah, it used to be like if you saw five billboards for something, you're like, I got to see that movie. Now you see like five ads for it and you're like, why are you trying so hard? Like if it's good, I'll hear about it. [13:49] Yeah, I try to tell that to my friends. Like, do not get overexposed. I mean, I don't just say no to everything because I'm not interested in doing anything more. But it's also because I'm clearly overexposed. And you've got to know when you're overexposed. But I have friends that, like, they'll do every fucking interview that anybody asks. They'll do every project that comes up. They never have any time. Like, I've got to slow down. Like, yeah, you've got to slow down. Like, why are you doing all this shit? You're already wealthy. Why are you doing this? Be a little mysterious.

[14:19] live a fucking life life on top of what you're doing live an actual life don't wait until you're 60 and go what did I do right even if it's for if you need to justify it through workaholic purposes like it took me so long to get out of my workaholism the first time I had to do it by justifying it by going I'll be better at my work if I have a life like for art to imitate life you have to have a life that's how I'm gonna go get stories that's how I'm gonna go you know I think especially as a comic now [14:48] There's a lot of funny people out there. I think if we've learned anything from memes and stuff, you're like, I don't. [14:52] This guy just works at Best Buy. And who made this mean? This is hilarious. You know, I think in the beginning, a lot of it was like stolen from comics. Remember, like that fat Jewish. Oh, yeah. Whatever happened to that guy? There was another one, too. I don't know. [15:05] But he was stealing memes or he was stealing jokes and turning them into memes? There was a couple where you would go like, that's a Mitch Hedberg joke. Like, that's definitely a Stephen Wright joke or Dimitri or something. But like Zach Galifianakis or it would be – [15:19] lesser-known comics you know like they go to a lesser-known comic feed like people that wrote for Fallon or Leno right now and it was showcase night at the store or like get their tweets you can just pull their tweets and change them a little bit whatever happened to that guy because he was hated or when he got started getting exposed he was hated and then he just kind of vanished it was another huge for a while was another one too and [15:42] And I don't remember the name of it that was doing the same exact thing. But the fat Jewish guy almost seemed like he was like a corporate created entity. He had like the crazy hair. Right. That weird fucking bun. That's right. Yeah. He was like a slob. Like, but he had like a wine. Like it sold it to Anheuser-Busch for millions of dollars. I don't know how much. What did he sell? A rose rose. Right. Right.

[16:05] What is rosé? It's a type of wine, but that's actually what the brand was called. Oh, no, no, no. I know what rosé is. Oh, I was like, please slip that. [16:15] My heart cannot take. He made a rosé called rosé. What the fuck's rosé? I know what rosé the wine is. It's called Babe. I see that now. Rosé Company called Babe. Oh, so he sold his wine and then he just like, I'm out? For millions. No, yeah. So he's about to open a bank. [16:29] Oh, God. Where do I sign up? It must be hilarious if he's opening up a bank. Definitely didn't steal those jokes. Yeah. Most really hilarious people want to open a fucking bank. I love that he's just like, I'm Jewish. What am I good at? [16:41] just open a bank like what what if he turned out he's not even jewish exactly he's a baptist or something yeah jews are like we're not fat what is it like get your shit together but also yeah that was so uh like for a second there i was like joe there's a chance he doesn't know what rose is no no no i know what that is you know like i just thought it was a company it's what like the raining street killer gives his victims before pushing them off dude your boy brandon over here i was like what's up with the raining street killer i always want like the updates on the

[17:11] And he said, uh, [17:12] He's like, I think it's tech, tech guys. They come down from San Francisco during South by Southwest and he strikes when he's in the [17:18] It's like a tech conference. Really? And he doesn't live here. Yeah. They're trying to pretend that it's not really a serial killer. The cops want to say it's not really a serial killer. And I'm like, how many guys have to drown before you start getting nervous? So – [17:33] They're only gay? That... [17:34] These guys? Well, it's a gay neighborhood. That's the thing. Not all of Rainey Street, but there's a lot of, like, gay bars and gay spots on Rainey Street. How do the cops know... [17:44] the victims are gay. [17:46] They just check their assholes. They're like, hey, like I fucked his I fucked the corpse's asshole. He's gay. They bring a dilator. You know, I've seen that guy in Grindr. He is gay. That reminds me of like the Nazi. It's been 10 minutes and I brought up Nazis twice. The Nazis also killed gay people. And like, I'm obsessed with how there were. [18:12] Nazis that had to find out who was gay. [18:15] So did Christians. Oh, really? Of course. It's in the Bible. It's like, I just fucked these guys. They are gay. Let's get them. In the old days in the Bible, if a man layeth with another man, you're supposed to be put to death. That means like someone signed up to be like, I'll do it. [18:30] I'll... [18:31] I'll investigate who's gay around here. Well, the thing is, though, they were all gay. Yeah. That's the crazy thing. Like, if you go back in history, guys were fucking each other all the time. Yeah. The Spartans did it. They had a philosophy that you would defend your lover more because, like, if you were fighting alongside a man –

[18:49] that you loved, you would defend him more. [18:51] was it love is that what love is i'm still trying to figure it out everybody's got their own definition for that like what is it yeah love is mysterious that's that's wild i always i'm like what are the things we're doing now that we're going to look back in 50 years and go like [19:07] Remember in 2006 when they were doing that? Trans surgeries? Mm-hmm. 100%, especially on children. Also having phones 24-7. 100%. Do you think phones will be like cigarettes? We'll be like... No, no. It'll be in your body by then. Oh, right. It'll be fun. It'll be fun. [19:22] They'll be laughing. Remember you used to have to carry your phone around? Right. Back in my day, you could leave your phone at a restaurant. Right. Remember when you couldn't just print from your mouth? Mm-hmm. [19:32] Remember when you could find a phone and just make calls from it because there was no passwords? [19:37] If you found someone's flip phone, you just open that bitch up and start calling people. Don't. Yeah. [19:42] You'd have to shut your phone off. You'd have to go to the Verizon store and go, hey, shut my fucking phone off. And by then it was just over. Yeah, the guys were calling China. [19:52] That was the other thing. You would have roaming charges. Do you remember those? Yes. Also, remember when you lost your phone and that was it? [19:59] Oh, yeah. Now I can find my phone within my own house. It'll tell me what room it's in. Well, not only that, if I don't find my phone, I could just go to the Apple store and my phone is in the cloud. [20:08] And then instantaneously, I get a new phone that's the same phone as my old phone with all my messages, all my notes, which is even more. My notes are more important than my messages because I keep so many material ideas. But you back them up. Oh, yeah. Always.

[20:23] This episode is brought to you by Visible. Have you heard of Visible? It's the one-line wireless with unlimited data and hotspot for $25 a month. Taxes and fees included, all on Verizon's 5G network. It's the ultimate wireless hack to save money and still get great coverage and a reliable connection. Got a resolution to save? Kick 2026 off right now for a limited time. [20:53] for the first 26 months. Ring in the new year with code SWITCH26. Share the savings with a deal that's too good to keep quiet. Switch now at visible.com. Terms apply. Limited time offer subject to change. See visible.com for planned features and network management details. Yeah, not only do I back them up, but I use other apps as well. I use Evernote. I back them up. Oh, yeah. [21:23] for a while uh it's like same thing like organize helps like organize because you can also search like by keyword you know because sometimes like i've i've look mom brain you know is real uh but i think it's kind of good i think it's like it's like a software update it's like deleting shit i didn't need to be remembering anyway that's a nice way of coping you know like my hippocampus was just full of some i actually in some ways feel like you might be smarter if you forget half the shit you

[21:53] science and history like is not even so me unknowing it might even make me smarter like Andrew Huberman was having a conversation with a professor at Stanford and he said what percentage of what's in medical journals and what's taught in school is no longer applicable he said at least 50 percent unbelievable at least 50 percent of the stuff that they were telling people like look they just turned the food pyramid upside down the food pyramid not only did it used to just be like [22:23] like bran muffins it was it was rice like bear claw like what the fuck like yeah you need spaghetti that's number one spaghettios at the base that was so crazy ravioli slightly above that and remember they just had a fish with like eyeballs like oh yeah that's actually probably a good one now but um but at the top you know now like the littlest amount of stuff you're supposed to get is grains and you're supposed to get meat and eggs at the bottom which was always i mean look there was a [22:53] like widely criticized fairly recently that labeled fruit loops as being healthier than ground beef. [23:01] But who sponsored that study? That's the thing about all these things. It's like, who are these people? And can I see them naked? Yeah, that's it. Take your fucking clothes off. Let me see what you look like. That's my same thing about quotes. You know how we're in this quote culture where you'll just like, and you probably don't have this in your algorithm, but it's like inspiring quotes. And I'm like, I need to know who said it. [23:21] I need to know who said it. A lot of times it's fake. You'll see quotes attributed to Einstein. Sure. And then I'll try to find out if it's real and it's not. Right, right, right. But it's just sort of like it's like slightly anti-Semitic quotes. You know, you're like, hmm. Hmm. Oh, did Aristotle really say this? Right, right. The Stoics. Yeah, like, I don't know, man. But there weren't even Jews back then. What the fuck is this guy talking about?

[23:47] I'm going to unfollow Ari Shafir once and for all. [23:51] It said General Mills on it. It said GM on the side when we were all looking at this pyramid. We knew that General Mills put this pyramid. Right. And we didn't even think that there was a conflict of interest there. Did you know how the whole Kellogg's like serial thing came about? [24:06] The Jerry Seinfeld movie? No. Kellogg's. Yeah. Do you know, like, why he decided to make, like, these bland cereals? [24:16] - Why? - To keep people from masturbating. [24:19] Sick. [24:20] That was the whole idea behind it, to give people bland food so that they wouldn't get aroused. [24:26] Is that what causes erections, asking for a friend? Yes. That's the only way. Is that how to turn my guy on? Yeah, spicy food. Put it on your pussy. Really? He's in. Because I remember the Seinfeld thing was the post. That was Pop-Tarts. So this is how actual cereal was invented? Cereal. Breakfast cereal. Kellogg's breakfast cereal. Specifically, he was like some sort of a weird Puritan. Let's look it up because he had some really bizarre ideas. [24:56] kids bland food. It would stop them from being horny. [25:01] Kids. Do kids get horny? I'm sorry. Yeah. Like 13, 14. OK, OK. OK. Well, as soon as the hormones start going. Sure. Sure. I remember being like, where is all this coming from? Like you're all of a sudden horny, like where you were never horny. And then all of a sudden you're 12 and it starts coming on like a storm. Yeah. And then you're 13. Like, what the fuck? And all your female teachers want to fuck you. Depends if you live in Florida.

[25:31] Between periods. I think you made that wrong, Bobby. Yeah, it is. Once you have a kid, like, it really is. I feel so cliche, like, about the ways you change once you have a kid. Everyone warns you and you're like, okay, okay. I mean, you really look at every authority figure around kids differently. Every teacher, every coach. You're just like, what are you in this for? Right. You're not in it for the money. Right. You're getting paid nothing. You don't have kids to go to the school. Like, what are you up to, dude? Indoctrinating kids. Here it is. Brand flakes. [26:01] Well, Kellogg's brand flakes were not created to stop kids from getting horny. But the broader Kellogg's cereal story is tied to some very weird anti-sex ideas from the 19th and 20th century. Kellogg's brand flakes were introduced in 1915 as a high-fiber breakfast cereal marketed as a health food to aid digestion and promote better-for-you breakfasts. Where does sex myth come from? [26:21] John Harvey Kellogg, a physician and Seventh-day Adventist, there it is, did believe that bland, plain diets, especially cereal and nuts, could help reduce sexual desire and masturbation. And he pushed those ideas at his sanitarium. So what the fuck is the, no, it's a myth? It's not a myth. [26:39] This is his idea. He believed it and he sold that stuff. [26:42] How can they say that's a myth? Can you imagine how hard [26:46] the publicists at Kellogg's are working [26:49] Yeah, because to make sure that's not that's why it's listed saying that it's a myth. That's the only reason why perplexity is getting confused, because there's a bunch of propaganda saying it's not. All you have to do is look at the first thing. John Harvey Kellogg believed that plain, bland diets could help reduce sexual desire and masturbation. And he sold plain, bland food. And back then, cereal was pretty much just for kids. You can already assume that it's going to be targeted at kids.

[27:19] general biological living health philosophy, not with bran flakes specific. Whatever. So how true is the rumor? It is fair to say that some of Kellogg's early cereal experiments were influenced by his belief that plain foods could encourage sexual restraint. So it is a good rumor. So why are they saying that it's not that it's a myth? I typed in bran instead of cornflakes. Oh, bran. There's yeah, it was it was the bland bland. Did you think I said bran? [27:46] I mean, I typed in bran because I meant bland. Yeah, I know. But bran is like a little bit more flavorful. I used to really like bran cereal. I love raisin bran. It's delicious. Raisin bran is the bomb diggity. It's so filling. It's so good. Especially frosted raisin bran with the sugar. And we would pour sugar on it, too, because we always thought sugar just gave you cavities. Nobody thought it was killing you. So we'd take scoops of sugar and just throw it on those fucking raisin bran balls. Dude, frosted flakes was my shit. [28:16] Oh, yeah. I was a big Captain Crunch man myself. Peanut butter? Oh, yeah. Cap'n. Cap'n. Yeah. Cap'n Crunch. Cap'n Crunch. We used to mix White Trash Till I Die, Apple Jacks with Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Ooh, those are good ones. Now what, RFK? RFK. [28:32] Now what? Yeah, you better let me keep having those. I don't think you should ban those, man. I think it's important to have restraint and to have the option to do something. How about have a little fucking discipline? That's it. That's it. Yeah. That's it. How about give me the Froot Loops with the dye? I want to look at pretty colors. I want my shit to be neon. I'm not going to get cancer if I eat one bowl. Okay, shut up. That's the other thing. It's like the stress is the worst for us. So the stress about, like, should I eat it, should I, is worse than just eating it.

[29:02] just talking to a friend who has suffered multiple heart attacks from stress. His doctor says there's nothing wrong with his arteries. [29:10] He's gotten these heart attacks because literally his [29:14] his body constricts, he's in like a very serious situation, and his body constricts so heavily [29:21] that his arteries fucking close up and he has heart attacks. [29:24] So what is the difference between, because I'm all about good stress on your body, exposing yourself to good stress, and then bad stress? [29:34] your body knows the difference, right? Bad stress is gonna be like the cortisol, and then good stress, [29:39] That's like adrenaline, right? Well, I'm hoping you're going to cut me off. Please cut me off. Hermetic effect. So the hermetic effect is like there's an argument with certain foods, right? There's an argument against certain foods like that. They have phytochemicals in them. So what they have is like an actual toxin that discourages predation. Right. But some of that is actually has a hermetic effect. It's actually good for you. Like what's a good one? Broccoli sprouts. [30:09] Phosphorophan. What is it? What is the word? [30:14] I can't remember the beneficial... Photosynthesis something. No, photosynthesis is how... [30:20] They convert sunlight into food. But like when you're doing good stress, like exercise. So furiphane, is that what it is? Furclase. [30:29] Yeah, I think you just said it as I was. I think that's the word. I think it's sulforaphane. Is that it right there on the screen?

[30:35] Sulforaphane. Yeah, sulforaphane. A plant compound formed when you chew or chop broccoli sprouts, which activates an enzyme that converts a precursor called glucoraphanin into sulforaphane. [30:59] why they are such a concentrated source of sulforaphane. [31:03] So you're eating the plant stress. Well, plants do release chemicals. You want to hear a crazy one? This is really nuts. [31:11] Plants are intelligent in some sort of a weird way. And one of the things they found is that if, like, say if a giraffe is eating certain bushes and they're eating them upwind. And so the wind comes down and the other plants recognize that they're being consumed. And so they change their chemical profile to make them disgusting. Starts tasting bad. Horses, same thing. Horses will all be grazing in one place and then they'll just pivot out of nowhere and you're like, what's going on? And they'll move to different grass. [31:41] realizes that it's happening. Oh my God, it's a grass apocalypse. And like lets off some kind of, you know, asset or something nuts wild. So this is the argument against consuming plants that all the carnivore people use is that there's these chemicals like find out what the chemicals they talk about. What are the chemicals that carnivore diet people think are dangerous from plants? The idea is that plants can't defend themselves. They're stationary. And so what they do is they

[32:11] Got it. It makes sense. It is like, you know, [32:16] after having being pregnant, I kind of just surrendered to being like, what if I just ate what I craved? Like, let me just let my body wisdom or whatever, like kind of go, you know, and it was sourdough bread, not regular bread, just sourdough. [32:30] which I wonder if that's allowed on the pyramid. It's a lot better for you. Right? Yeah. Sourdough bread, eggs, and meat, no salad. Like it made me like nauseous to like even think about salad. But maybe that was just my blood type or whatever it was. My wife was really into frozen pizza rolls, those little disgusting things. I would buy them for her. I'm like, are you sure? That is a Texas bitch, like through and through. Carnivore diet advocates often argue that many common plant compounds are toxic or [33:00] that harm digestion hormones or nutrient absorption. [33:05] Carnivore influence usually group these under umbrella. Anti-nutrients or plant defense chemicals. Oxalates is one for sure. Oxalates is terrible for you. [33:14] But the way to get around that is cooking them. So like this is like I used to always drink kale smoothies. I used to take kale and throw it in there with garlic and ginger and drink a smoothie every day. Then you left L.A. [33:29] No, I mean I felt fine doing it. I never got kidney stones or anything like that. But then I started reading about oxalates and then I had a bunch of people on that told me that you can get kidney stones. And I did actually get my blood work done and it was high in oxalates. But also that's from almonds.

[33:44] eat a lot of, I used to eat a lot of almonds. Lectins, grains, beans, nuts, there it is, promote leaky gut, autoimmunity, and general gut irritation. [33:55] Phytates? What is that? Phytic acid, grains, legumes, and nuts, criticized for binding materials and reducing their absorption. Tannins or other polyphenols, described by some meat advocates as additional plant defenses that can inhibit nutrient absorption or act as pro-oxidants. But one of the things that I've heard, [34:18] For people that are pretty knowledgeable is that the issue might not be the actual plants itself. It might be pesticides. That's the other thing. That's the worst thing you can eat at a restaurant anywhere is salads because it's just covered in pesticides. Like I am washing my fruit and vegetables more than I wash my own. See if this is true because I read this, that 100 percent of all California wines tested positive for glyphosate. [34:44] And out in Malibu, Raytheon. [34:47] Because there was a Raytheon plant. Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. [34:50] Yeah, yeah. And cum, actually. Rocket dying used to be in my neighborhood. Wild. Yeah, I wonder if I got juiced up. Remember when I went out and before I had a kid and I was just fighting people over rescuing giraffes? I had an instinct to mother and I was just mothering everything except an actual baby, including giraffes. And the wine that was made up there at that place, Malibu Safari, had tested positive for Raytheon and people were getting sick. For Raytheon? Uh-huh. How do you test positive for Raytheon? Like the Raytheon. Okay, they tested 10.

[35:20] And a 2016 investigation by ABC7 News, Beyond Pesticides, reported that 10 out of 10 California wines tested positive for glyphosate. [35:30] Whoa. That's nuts. I'm obsessed with these sort of health and wellness sort of myths. And where do they... [35:38] wine's good, red wine's good for you. Like what alcoholic like made that popular? Remember, it's like it's got resveratrol. It's like the amount you would need to get, the amount of resveratrol that would make a difference would kill your liver anyway. But like dark chocolate's good for you. Like these things we just like left on. I think dark chocolate is good for you though. Is it? Yeah, I think that's legit. I don't think wine is necessarily bad for you. I think alcohol is bad for you. But I think it also loosens you up and makes you happy, which is better for you than being sad. [36:08] Depending on where you are right? So if you were the group of people like you and I and a bunch of friends went out to dinner We all had wine. We're laughing our asses off. That would probably be really good for you And it removes a little bit of the ability to and that was always my thing like I don't I've three three and a half years off pretty much anything I mean I was pregnant. I have a kid like I'm you know, I gotta be focused like a toddler is just like suicidal like I'm you know but uh [36:30] you know, [36:31] I think with – at least I'll just speak for myself, my brain, a glass of wine, I'm just able to be present without going, is this a good joke? Which I write about – it just takes off that sort of like interior anthropologist narrative that is like I always have to be categorizing things and filing things as jokes or cross-referencing things and filing things away for future stand-up. That's the thing, right? It's because you always need new jokes. It's like you're always farming.

[37:01] Sometimes I'll just do what you do. I'll put it in notes to just file it away, just so that I'm not thinking about it so much. That's the only thing that keeps me sane. [37:08] Because if I don't do that, if I don't, it's going to get away from me. Same. I have to. Same. At least my family knows. Like sometimes I'll jump up from the dinner table and I have to run away because I know it's slippery. I'm like, this idea is slippery. I'll be right back. I got an idea. Let me just write it down. Let me just write it down. I have to write it down and I come back. [37:24] And I don't tell them the idea because it's usually they're like, what? Yeah, yeah. Trust me. It's going to sound bad. No. OK. Jews do run the meat. Just let me let me flesh it out. This idea about Jews and blacks. But yeah, as long as I'm able to write it down, then I can be. Yeah. Then, you know, you saved it. Neil Brennan used to say that his joke book was basically like a net for catching ideas. [37:54] Traeger is a game changer. This isn't just a grill. It's the ultimate way to cook outdoors, delivering unbeatable wood-fired flavor thanks to the all-natural hardwood pellets that fuel everything you grill, smoke, or bake. That's it. Just wood and fire and flavor. And what's truly wild is how easy it is. Just set the temp, load the grill, and let Traeger handle the rest.

[38:24] grill. If you're into fire, flavor, and doing things right, check out Traeger Grills. [38:30] This episode is brought to you by LifeLock. Lots of places can accidentally expose you to identity theft. Doctors' offices, online retailers, insurance companies, the list goes on. Thankfully, LifeLock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second for threats to your identity, which is way more than anyone could do on their own. LifeLock keeps an eye on your personal information, credit applications, finances, and more. [39:00] like new loans or changes to your financial accounts, they'll alert you right away, all through text, phone, email, or the LifeLock app. Even better, alerts are automatically activated the moment you become a LifeLock member. No extra work on your part. Get the alerts that could make all the difference. Don't wait. Join LifeLock now. Visit LifeLock.com slash J-R-E and save up to 30% your first year. [39:30] slash jre for 30% off terms apply love it I have one great idea great premise promise I have a joke like I'll write it down in my uh like a notebook but I'll of course leave it somewhere and it just looks like my suicide note it's just like words it's just like kegels you know episiotomy like it's just crazy words um but and that's the other thing I think having a kid gave me that I didn't even know was possible which is what I thought like weed or you know a glass of

[40:00] was. [40:00] I've always just... [40:01] been trying to figure out how to get present, like be in the present moment, you know? Which, by the way, is there a biological basis for being in the present moment? Probably not. It's probably, you know, was, you know, a detriment back in the day. You wanted to be like two steps ahead, or this is what just happened. And like eating that berry was bad. Like being in the present moment probably got you killed back then. But that's what they think ADHD is about. It's about being a persistent hunter. We have a problem with the software that we're running and perhaps maybe [40:31] love this episode. [40:34] They don't love anything. Just cut me out of it. There's a bunch of people I'd like to see naked. [40:42] All those negative Reddit commenters like, you guys need to go outside. Touch grass, babes. I look at those guys and I'm always just guys, girls, whoever. I mean, I go on Reddit. They're non-binary. All of them. I always think if we didn't get to do what we do, would we be doing that? 100%. I would. I would say that [41:01] celebrities online and comments. I'm like, I would do that. [41:05] One thousand, one million percent. If I was 16 years old and I had a fucking Twitter account. And they have a plane. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck you. Like, hey, asshole. Like, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'd be going after everybody. I would 100 percent. That was all especially if I get them to respond. Right. I'd be like, whoo, we I got him on the hook. Look at this. And then like Kimmel would like read negative comments on his show. Like you can get on a show.

[41:31] Joe's now trying to get in a crowd work video, just heckling and yelling. Yeah, especially if someone is known for responding to hecklers. Oh, no, the first four rows are people that are, like, in hair and makeup. They have, like, hats on. Like, their tits are out. Like, they're ready with it. They're like, hey, bitch. And I'm like, I'm not filming this show, guys. Sorry. People just want to be a part of something. Do you want to know where I'm from? It's like, I don't. I don't care. I'm in Austin. I know you live. I don't give a shit. [42:01] everyone has a voice now, which is great. And it's also terrible. It's both things. It's great because some people emerge from that voice. Just like we were talking about memes. [42:11] Some of the hardest... [42:13] laughs that I get during the day are these memes that anonymous people have created and someone sends me. Same. And I'm like, ah! Same. [42:21] And then I sent them to people. I don't know who the fuck made it. Can we pause one second again? It's now not recording the audio, even though we can hear everything. [42:29] It just stopped all of a sudden. Did it record any of what we just said? Because that was fucking gold. It is still going. It is still going. That was gold. I'm going to trust it. It's just not visually showing up. We'll trust it. Oh, boy. Sorry. Having a conversation about being in the present moment and being like, wait, you didn't record that? [42:43] I was being so present. Damn it. [42:47] I think we're in this weird transitionary period where we have a new technology and that allows everyone to have a voice. And I think overall it's very good because you have more voices and it's just people have to discern what's a valuable voice and what's not. And that's where I tell people don't read the fucking comments. It's not good for you because you're getting too many non-valuable voices.

[43:17] eliminated all these people that are really shitty and bitter and jealous and nasty and – and also like have no – [43:27] ability to look at themselves. Yeah. But also like to all my like I was just did Norman's podcast with Sam Raul and they were talking about the comments. I was like, guys, [43:35] Like, [43:36] I've said worse things to you than any of these comments. Right. Like, we're comics. We all sit around and are so much meaner to each other. Of course. And meaner about other comics and aren't there? Oh, God. We've been the worst shit ever. Totally. It's just sort of like nothing in this comment section is worse than what Tony Hinchcliffe just said to me on the phone. And you laughed. I just talked to Tim Dillon for an hour. Like, I have no self-esteem left. Like, this is like a warm hug. Like, my comment section is where I go for compliments at this point. [44:06] that when I'm hanging out with normies. [44:08] Thank you. [44:09] You know, and I'll just drop a bomb. Same, same. And you should look at me like, what the fuck did you say? I'm like, I thought we were talking shit. No, I did that yesterday. I was checking into the hotel. And we're in Texas. My mom's from Texas, whatever. And this dude that works there was wearing like... [44:28] Like cowboy boots. Like solid cowboy boots. And I was like, oh, sick cowboy boots. I mean like – [44:34] They're just high heels for men, but like cool that you guys call them like cowboy boots. Right, right. And he was just like – and I was like, oh, you're going to fight me. Like this is not – I can say that to like Tony Hinchcliffe because I'm always like, hey, you moved to Texas so that you could wear heels. Like so you basically wear cowboy boots all the time. He was going through a period of time where he was wearing nothing but cowboy hats and cowboy boots on stage.

[44:56] Dude, and then like a Gucci like track suit. [45:01] Like name a person that knew less about what to do with their money. Here's what he's doing now. He's wearing vests. He wears vests all the time. It's a thousand degrees outside. Bulletproof vests after he was at the Trump rally. Smart. The Puerto Ricans have guns, homie. The Puerto Ricans love him. Yeah, they do. If there's any group of people that are great at talking shit, it's Puerto Ricans. [45:26] jokes. But yeah, I love... She doesn't count. So I... [45:31] Have you made your will? Oh, yeah. Okay. So I'm making my will, which as soon as you have a kid, they'll make a will or else your craziest family member is going to get your son. And I have him. [45:43] And I... [45:45] Am I allowed to make a fun, I want to make like a funny Will. [45:47] Like, I want to give Brian Holtzman, like, a million dollars just to see what he'll do. Just to look down from heaven and just see him with, like, calf. He'd probably buy suspenders or something. Just calf implants. Like, just, like, seeing what Tony did with his money. Like, watching all these comics. Like, Bobby Lee, he just, like, shows up in, like, women's shoes. Like, he'll just be in, like, you know, those, like, Golden Goose sneakers. They're, like, $700. They're bedazzled. [46:11] He wears bedazzled sneakers? Well, they're like Golden Goose. Do you know these shoes? Yeah, I have a pair of Golden Goose. Yeah, but they're like shimmery with like leopard. It's weird because Golden Goose, they come out worn out. Like you buy, I bought them in Aspen. Yeah. You buy them worn out and everybody was really into it. I'm like, they're already pre-worn. Like this is weird. It's like when you did like bought jeans with holes in them. Right. Like ahead of time. I never did that, by the way. Yeah. No, that's not, that's a lie. I did it for a while and then I was like, what was wrong with me? Yeah.

[46:41] in the uh uh knees because you can move around more like that's actually useful always cut holes oh you need to buy like stretchy jeans you know what i did start buying stretchy jeans and this is actually the worst thing i've done since becoming a mom you just become such a dork except your wife your wife is like she's like my hero i'm like how do you stay why are you so hot like you're my mom you're like allowed to just look like rachel maddow but you do this like i need to get back on the horse because i started buying sweatpants that look like jeans and i'm [47:11] of jeans like that that you can get now. What are those? Are they called perfect jeans? [47:16] Those are really good. [47:17] I got a few pairs of those. I think that's what they're called, right? Perfect jeans? [47:22] Like stretchy guys? Yeah, those are great. Revtown makes a great pair. They're great. Barbell jeans. They're nice. Yeah, they're made for people with big thighs. Yeah. [47:35] Because my jeans wear out in the middle. [47:38] Because my thighs are always rubbing together? Right, right. Oh, like in the – yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's where they tear open and wear out. Yeah, yeah. And I need to be – I need to – I can't wear something that I can't kick somebody in. But also – fuck yes. Fuck. [47:53] So good to be in Texas where the real men are. That's how they think. My fiancée is like – I was thinking like that always. All your whole life. It's so funny. My fiancée is like he's just – you don't realize until you date a very straight guy that you've only dated gay guys. I'm very straight guy. [48:08] I always was like, oh, good. Metrosexual. Like my dude, my favorite thing to do is ask him what he's thinking about. Not like, what are you thinking about? Like hoping it's me or like our wedding or something. I'm just like fascinated. I'm on the edge of my seat. And it's usually like if I could fight that guy.

[48:23] Or the Roman Empire. Yeah. My God, dude. [48:29] Just like jerking off, thinking about tigers tearing apart criminals. Like, what about the Roman Empire exactly? That's so crazy when you think about it. I mean, didn't species go extinct? [48:40] Because of the Roman Empire? Because of the Colosseum fights. I don't believe that's true. I've never heard that. When I did like a tour of it, they said that, but I'm sure they were just trying to. [48:49] Yeah, they're trying to juice you up. Well, let's find out. Even if they did, how could they prove it? I guess it's... Well, they don't really... There's a lot of speculation that's probably erroneous about why certain animals went extinct, including woolly mammoths. Also, there's a lot of animals out there that maybe you guys can't find. Oh, yeah. We don't know. [49:08] Okay, not to bring up California, but have you seen this doomsday fish? [49:13] What's that? It's a fish that only appears when an earthquake is about to happen. Oh, great. And they're coming up around Monterey in California. It's like a syringe with fins. Really? You know these fish at the bottom, bottom of the ocean? Oh, and they're getting away from the bottom because they feel like it's coming? They're coming up to the surface. I've never heard of this before. But my brain also goes like, maybe they've been around and you just haven't seen them. That's true. It's not like we have cameras down there 24-7. At all times, yeah. [49:43] Hormophytes did not clearly drive any species to global extinction, but they did help wipe out or severely reduce some regional populations and subspecies. [49:51] Like what? These hunts killed animals on a huge scale. Ancient sources described thousands of animals killed in single festivals and tens of thousands over imperial reigns. Modern historians argue that...

[50:04] This sustained demand contributed to local or regional disappearances, especially when combined with hunting, habitat loss, and warfare. [50:12] Well, that like just what they did in America with market hunting, they almost wiped out everything in America. [50:21] Because no one had ice, right? So you had to get meat every day. So they wiped out almost all deer. They wiped out elk from elk used to be in all 50 states. And now they're only in a few. They wiped out almost all of them. [50:34] And... [50:35] This is fascinating to me, just the Roman Coliseum thing, because I think that my brain always does whenever it's like, can you believe people in the comments are trashing Sabrina Carp or whatever? It's like, yeah, people used to go watch, you know, people have their limbs torn apart by lions and sit there and like cheer and suggest they would yell out how to kill people like that. You know, they would go watch at the town square. People get hanged like this is right on time. They'd watch people have sword fights. [51:05] thus far it's just like you suck like that's like right it just hurts your feelings yeah right and it only hurts your feelings if you read it but i also don't think anyone has only made a comment on joe rogan's or only on mine i don't think it's like just personal well it's probably one schizophrenic person that just concentrates on you yeah oh no i have many of those yeah yeah yeah but there's most people are just but i don't think they're normal with everyone else and then [51:29] Well, that's the argument that some people have that I completely disagree with, that it should be your name. Everyone should know who's posting that and that you shouldn't be allowed to post anonymously. My problem with that is that eliminates all whistleblowing.

[51:45] Oh, good point. You know, you're working at some defense contractor and you know they're doing something horrible or whatever. You're working for some oil company and you know they're doing something evil. No, you can't have completely anonymous. I mean you can't have only like recognized accounts where you know the exact person who's posting things because sometimes you need to have anonymous sources. [52:15] like a quantumist real-life version of something digital. So it's like negative things in the comment section. That's like being in a football game and someone being like, Tom Brady, you suck. Right. He obviously doesn't suck. Right. It's the same thing. You're wearing a Patriots jersey. Like, you obviously love him. You're just, like, being an idiot. You know? It's kind of like. How about UFC fans? Some of them are the worst. They're like, he's a pussy. Is he? He fights for a living. Yes, yes, yes. You don't even know. He fights in his underwear barefoot in a fucking cage for a living. [52:45] pussy that's right people i mean and also think about what it would take for you to stop and leave a shitty comment you would have to be in such a dark dark place to like need to just like throw a stray at someone and like i like to think of it as like a weird service and maybe this is just me trying to like sublimate it into something positive because like being a female community on the internet it's like pretty wild and um it's like i signed up to [53:06] make people happy or make people laugh or give people some kind of escape from their life. And if, [53:12] You hating me or saying some mean shit gives you like a hit of – like, great. I don't think I came into comedy being like, everyone has to love me. Like that – It's not possible. Yeah. People hate Chappelle. It's literally not possible. The people I know that take the biggest risks and that are polarizing. Like I think the most interesting comics are polarizing. So if everyone liked me, I'd probably be pretty boring and – Well, there's a few people that don't take risks that are hilarious that aren't polarizing at all like Nate Bargatze. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or Gaffigan. Sebastian.

[53:42] But Gaffigan got really polarizing when he went political. [53:45] A lot of people got mad at him for that. That's right. But I think he was drunk. [53:48] Oh, interesting. He did a – I'm pretty sure he was drunk. He likes to throw them back. Was he doing a line though? Wasn't he like doing a line or was he doing it live? [54:00] Oh, he was on Twitter. Oh, he was on Twitter, yeah. During the Trump election. That's right. I remember. I remember. He went crazy and he lost like a giant chunk of fans. People turned on him. [54:09] You know, he's the Hot Pockets guy. That's right. And he's like involved in politics. It's interesting when that kind of – I think that as a comic, like it's – and you do something sort of different here, but I never – [54:23] To take a side just feels so weird. It just feels so bizarre because I think it's really our job to be able to defend the indefensible, just even as an exercise and to – [54:33] to be able to deeply believe that two things can be true at once. I think it's the opposite of what Wokies do with animals. [54:40] so with Wokey's [54:42] With animals, they're like, adopt, don't shop. I think with your ideas, you should shop around. [54:49] Don't adopt. Don't adopt like all the ideas that the left has or all the ideas that the right has. Shop around. Also, breeders are bad. So rescue a dog from a breeder if you need to. Right. Well, some look, breeders are bad. Right. OK. I have the best fucking dog in the world. And he came from a breeder. Some are good. Some are bad. Some rescues are good. Some some of the worst people on Earth are animal rescue people. Some of the worst people on Earth work in charities. You know, that's a fact. That's a fact.

[55:19] the data about the LA fire money and where it went. Holy shit. Did you see the data of the whole, what was it? How many billion was supposed to be spent on homelessness removal? 24. 24 billion. Unaccounted for. I'm not even mad. Just tell me where it is. How do you even hide that much money? [55:37] But I want to show you this. Did I ever send it to you, Jamie? [55:41] I know I saved it because it's so crazy. It was like there was a concert. It was like $100 million. But where it went is literally absolutely nuts. [55:53] I'm gonna find it. - Oh, and [55:55] Jamie, did you find that doomsday fish? I just want to make sure. I found an article about it from 20, a couple years ago that said it shows up when... Doomsday fish? Yeah, there was one up in Monterey, they said, that came... [56:09] I'm obsessed with the fish that we don't know about. Okay. I just sent it to you, Jamie. So the House Judiciary Committee released a report. [56:16] on the L.A. FireAid concert. Among the findings, FireAid was used – I mean, this is going to – I'm sorry. [56:26] I don't know why I'm coughing. Fire aid was used for activities such as voter participation initiatives, podcasts. They gave $100,000 to podcasters. Approximately $550,000 in donations went to organizations involved in political advocacy. Well, that's money laundering. That's just money laundering. $550,000 out of $100 million. $250,000 was directed towards programs benefiting undocumented immigrants. Look at this. $100,000 to podcasters.

[56:56] I want to know who the fuck the podcasters were that got $100,000. Yeah, what are you talking about? What does that mean? Did they prevent fires with that money? $500,000 was used to cover salaries, bonuses. Imagine you got a bonus because there was a fire. Consultant fees for nonprofit organizations. But if it's a nonprofit, why are you giving it money? And why are you giving them bonuses? [57:16] Half a million dollars. Okay. Many worthy nonprofits did receive grants that were used to support victims. This report provides lessons for the distribution of – or the disbursement, rather, of any remaining fire aid funds. Go down lower because it keeps going. It's a good racket. Everyone I know that works with a charity has like two houses. Like good for them because they don't have to pay taxes either. There's – sorry. There's more where they laid all this stuff out. So this is Kevin Kiley who is – what is his – [57:44] Congressman from California. So he's outlining this because he tried to look it up. [57:49] It's fucking crazy. But I mean, some of that is fucking criminal. This one drives me nuts. Organizations involved in political advocacy, half a fucking million dollars. [58:03] Why is anyone advocating for politics? Like, what does that even mean? It's just stealing money. That's right. That's just money laundering. That's just stealing money. Wait, fungus planting projects. What? To plant fungus. [58:16] Fungus planting projects. [58:20] Just a growing weed. The best way to keep people from doing this, man. This is what it is, dude. It's literally like everyone that's pissed that their house caught on fire, take these mushrooms. And you will realize materialism doesn't... It's all bullshit, man. You're part of the universe, man. We're all connected. If someone else has a house, you have a house, too. This is the universe telling you to get the fuck out of here. I mean, it is like a lot to process. I mean, there's a point where you're kind of like...

[58:50] My brain goes like when there's nothing you can do about it, you're like, what do I do? Like, do I just get mad? Do I just look away? Do I become the person that's retweeting shit and just being that person? Like, you know, the things we have to kind of just decide with our economy of bandwidth, what. [59:07] to be outraged about. And maybe this is it. The idea is like, we'll throw so much at you that you'll just get exhausted. And this episode is brought to you by Athletic Brewing Company. So here we are. It's the new year, which means it's about time to hit reset. Just because it's January doesn't mean you need to disappear into a cold plunge and never drink again. [59:26] Just rotate in some athletic, non-alcoholic beer. You get the taste, the perfect meal pairing, and the night out, but you wake up without the hangover. With over 185 taste awards, they brew all kinds of styles. IPAs, Goldens, Hazies, you name it. Athletic is proud-brewed in America and sold at over 75,000 grocery or liquor stores, bars, and restaurants across the country. [59:56] their website. Go to athleticbrewing.com slash Rogan to find stores near you or get brews shipped right to your door. Use code Rogan to get 15% off your first online order. Near beer, terms and conditions and certain limitations apply. Athletic Brewing Company, fit for all times. I don't think it's a plan. I think it's just a function of the whole...

[1:00:23] Social media. [1:00:26] But also they're like, we know we're going to get away with this. But they're not because this guy, the congressman is looking it up. It's going to – they're definitely going to talk about it. It's going to be a problem for these people. It's going to be a problem during reelection, and it's supposed to be. They're monsters. These people are evil. They're really evil. What they're doing is stealing money from people that decided they were going to donate money because they thought it was a worthy cause, and it wasn't a worthy cause. [1:00:55] It's like, well, you were just in a fire zone, too. We pay enough taxes in California to not have to have charities to donate to fire victims. Do you know what I mean? Charities are such a scam because it's like, well, no, this is where our taxes should be going to stuff. We shouldn't have to have these charities where people are donating money to help people. They don't have money either. Well, it's a scam when you find out where the money actually goes. [1:01:25] legitimate charity. It's very likely that only 30% or less is going to the actual cause. And that person doesn't pay taxes on top of that because the charity is a tax write-off. So my taxes aren't going to pay for that. [1:01:36] Cause and then you're not paying taxes anyway. And then I have to give you extra money. It's just like, it's just such a charity culture. It's just such a bizarre. Does every country have this charity culture? I don't know. Well, our charity culture is really weird because of USAID because USAID, everybody thought I was like, Oh, it's aid. It's,

[1:01:54] We're giving aid to all these other countries. That's important. People are going to starve. Right. And then you realize like, oh, no, it's not U.S. aid. It's U.S. Agency for International Development. Right. [1:02:07] So a lot of it is about overthrowing foreign governments. A lot of it is about funding these NGOs that are supposedly nonprofit, but people extract the money out of them. What's your money laundering? Yeah. A lot of it is money laundering. It's so much Mike Benz is the guy to follow on that. And Mike Benz is like he's gone deep, deep into all this shit and uncovered an insane way. He said the USAID is for things that are too dirty for the CIA. [1:02:35] When it's too dirty for the CIA, they send it off to a non-government organization. That's an NGO. So an NGO can do things that the government can't do legally. [1:02:45] So they'll go and use this money in a way that our government can't do it. But it's our government's money. So it's your tax dollars go to do things that the government's not allowed to do. And the government just does it that way through an NGO. And people profit massively. And money is just flowing around and no one knows where it goes. The $24 billion that went to the homeless problem in California where it only got worse. I don't even get how you hide that much money. [1:03:11] I don't even get how you laundered and hide. I mean, that's like. It just shows you how crazy scams are in this country. We're learning that out about the Somali. Oh, yeah. The Minnesota thing. But that's just one part of it. The Somali daycares in Minnesota is the tip of the iceberg. California is way bigger. So people are digging into the problems in California now. And they're saying, no, no, no. Whatever you thought the fraud was. There was a guy that was running a daycare, a bunch of daycares. He had no one. Already a red flag. In California. No one at his organization. No.

[1:03:40] No kids. [1:03:41] pulled up in a fucking rolls royce when they're investigating a rolls royce couldn't even just get a lexus no they can't they can't just be cool it's like dame cook's brother or whatever who stole from him like pulled up in like a bugatti it's like you couldn't really it was like something i think something crazy like you couldn't just got an acura that's when he found out that his brother was stealing from i think it was like a car that pulled up it's like i know what i i know what car like sunk dame's brother by the way he got out of jail and the money's still missing stop yeah [1:04:11] There's a ton of money that they never recovered. [1:04:14] He might have hit it in a coffee. There's some real rich hookers in Pensacola. I'll tell you what. He might have blown through all of it, but I'm pretty sure. I mean, you'd have to ask Dane. Yeah. I'm pretty sure that a lot of the money was unrecovered. He donated it to the L.A. fire victims. Yeah. It's like people that steal like that. Like it's like for what I understand, it's like kind of a gambling addiction to it's like I got away with this. Like you get this invincibility complex of like now I can get away with this. And then you just get in over your head and you show up one day in a fucking, you know, Ferrari. And I was like, huh? [1:04:44] documentary, The 7-5? No. The 7-5 is all about the 75th precinct in New York and how corrupt it was. It's a really good documentary. I had the guy who was the main guy, Michael Dowd, who was a corrupt cop. Love it. I had him on the podcast and explained it. He said the first day of, I mean, if you watch the documentary, first day working, they threw a guy out of building and killed him [1:05:08] And he was like, shut the fuck up. [1:05:10] Like, you know, you know what you saw now. You didn't see shit, right? Yeah, I didn't see shit. Like they killed a guy on his first day on the job. And he's like, okay, this is, this is, I guess, what we do. And so he was selling drugs.

[1:05:25] robbing drug dealers and showed up at work with a Corvette. And a brand new badass Corvette. Keep the Corvette under a blanket and just drive a Honda to work. Like you could have gotten away with this forever. Get an old pickup truck, stupid. Yeah, like... [1:05:42] laughter [1:05:44] I love that shit, dude. I fucking love it so much. This guy shows up at his fucking daycare in a Rolls Royce. It was like the Wild Wild Country guy. He could have got away with that forever. [1:05:55] But it was like the 56th. [1:05:56] like bedazzled Rolls Royce. I was like, I don't know, man. Yeah. Yeah. He had a bunch of Rolls Royces, but God told me I should have these. Like, huh? I don't know. But the people are retarded. That is one of the greatest things ever. By the people, for the people. For the people. [1:06:13] In the pause. Dude. But the people... [1:06:17] are retarded. Tough titties. So it's for the retarded. So look at this. [1:06:24] 42.1 million. This is the guy. [1:06:28] He's trying to cover the car with his body. Pull back and let's hear what he says in the beginning of this because – [1:06:34] I mean, with all that money, maybe buy some Ozempic, too, homie. [1:06:38] He's eating good. [1:06:39] Let me hear what he says. [1:06:41] Ever since Nick Shirley has done his reporting in Minnesota, we have Iranian daycare centers in California. Over here we have 1412 South Crescent Heights. [1:06:49] Creative Children Academy. [1:06:51] Nobody has come in or out of this facility in nine months. Every window is just boarded up.

[1:06:55] Because no one L.A. has kids. Look at this Rolls-Royce. Where's the money jump sheet? The way the door opens is so fun. Where'd you get this part from? How did you get this property? [1:07:08] Did you win the law? That's assault. Don't touch me. This looks fake. It really does. It looks fake as shit. It looks fake as shit. This looks like completely staged. [1:07:17] Just the way he walks up and grabs the car. When you saw people with cameras and you've got a convertible Rolls Royce parked. You would turn around, I think. You would just turn around. It's just too convenient. There's no one there. Why is he there with the car? He parks right out front. That looks fake. He's not wearing any brands. That's usually a thing, too. It's also, there's something in my mind registered his face. [1:07:36] When he started talking. [1:07:39] Wait a minute. Is that the guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. A hundred percent. So it's fake. Yeah, yeah. I was... [1:07:43] So that was like a staged reenactment or something? Yeah, it's horseshit. [1:07:51] This is like when I repost videos where people have like seven fingers. It's just bad acting. I saw his face. I saw his face. I'm like, this guy's a bad actor. This is like a Hallmark special. Well, when he took off the golf hat, like douchebag or Vance, like before to start his thing. That's just engagement. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why are you wearing a suit? Why are you wearing a suit? Meanwhile, people are sending that to me like it's real. There it is. That thing? Yeah. [1:08:13] But they want it to be real. Yeah. And by the way, you get to a point with real and fake where you're just like, it might as well be. [1:08:20] You know, it might as well be. But that guy, you could tell his face was fake. He's like, what? Yeah, it was. How'd you get me? Yeah. Get on. This is private property. The push was a little bitch for someone who was about to lose everything. Like the camera work was pretty good, too. It's just he's just being silly. Yeah. There's a lot of that, too. That's a problem. It's just like we live in a strange world and no one investigated where all this money was going in the past. No one investigated. How could you?

[1:08:50] said to me, said Medicaid fraud is the biggest amount of money that's fraudulent in this country. And he didn't want to even talk about it because he was worried that people would kill him. [1:09:00] That's what he said on the podcast. He goes, I could go into this, but... [1:09:04] They'll kill me. That's like someone saying they have something they didn't have to get the – [1:09:08] catastrophe insurance thing. Because like I had a lot of that. Yeah. My dad had a stroke and you get like it was stolen by a family member. The fraud is within my family. But really that, yeah, that you get like [1:09:21] 20 grand, Medicaid Part B, I want to say, if you have like a stroke, it's called a catastrophic event. They'll just like give you like 20 grand or something. Is it like that you like fake that or something and then get that money type of thing? Oy. Is that like what Medicaid – Is it to fake a stroke? No, what it is is – well, here's the daycare thing. Like that's part of it. And then there's a bunch of people that don't exist that are getting Medicaid money. Right, right. [1:09:44] Right. Yeah. And then there's autism diagnoses, right? So they self-diagnose as autism. They open up an autism center. They have a bunch of kids in the autism center. They get money for those kids. There's no autism. There's no kids. [1:09:58] It's all fake. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. There's also like there's there's these fake scams where there there was one that they uncovered in Minnesota where they were supposedly feeding an exorbitant amount of children and there was no kids. No one was going there. But they were saying they were feeding like 5000 people a day. Sure. They didn't even have the capacity to feed 5000 people a day. There's no food coming in there. [1:10:18] But the American dream, the politicians were getting so much money from these people, right? Just from the Somali community that owned daycare centers. The Minnesota politicians were getting thirty five million dollars last year. Is that is Tim Walton to blame for that? I don't know. Well, he just stepped down from his reelection. That's not good.

[1:10:39] That's not good. When you were almost the vice president of the United States. You know how many people came at me? People that I'm like... [1:10:45] thought I was friends with, like acquaintances more maybe, but I now realize they were acquaintances when I made fun of Tim Walz for going to China so many times. Like, which, let me not get this wrong. It's definitely more than 10, more than 10 or something that Tim Walz just like went to China to go, like, which is, you know. [1:11:02] If you're going to have gone to China that many times and then run to be the vice president, why wouldn't you? [1:11:07] Why would you hide it, number one? Why wouldn't you lead with it as like this is one of our enemies? I've been. I know the language. Like, why wouldn't you either lean into it, make it? I'm an expert on it. And this is one of our big issues. Like the fact that we all pretended that he wasn't going to China. First of all, on what salary are you going to China every year? Was he a politician when he was doing this? What's your miles program? Well, I could see if you were a businessman. He was a teacher. Yeah. [1:11:32] He was a teacher. He was going with kids. He was taking kids to China. [1:11:36] But, I mean, doesn't that make sense, though, that you're taking kids on a – [1:11:39] An international trip so they can learn about the world? Only China. [1:11:44] Maybe that's his area of expertise. I'm trying to like. But why not lead with it? I'm trying to steel man it. I know me too. I do the same where I'm like. [1:11:50] Why doesn't he open with, I've been to China 35 times. I took kids there so they could learn Mandarin because they're going to have to interface with China later during business. Like it was just like this thing where.

[1:11:58] It's when someone else tries to hide something, something that I wouldn't have thought was untoward. I'm like, well, hold on. Now it's weird. Right. And why can't I ask a question about it? Whenever I would say, how many times did he go to China? Everyone's like, what? What? And I'm like. Well, here's the crazy one. When all the Somali daycare center came out, he started blaming white men for all the crime. Sure. What about white men? Well, he's white men with all the crime. He's trying this, that playbook. He's like, what about me? The woke playbook. What about me? I'm the criminal. I'm a white guy. That's really what he's saying. He's telling on himself right then and there. [1:12:28] Basically trying to say that it's racist. [1:12:31] But it's not – facts aren't racist. It's just clever if they did it themselves. Yeah. [1:12:39] If they did it themselves, if they were the ones that were perpetrating the fraud. [1:12:43] The real problem is if they didn't do it themselves, who helped them fill out all those forms? Who helped them organize this? And is this a money laundering thing? And are they filtering this money into other people's accounts? Are they filtering into offshore accounts? Because supposedly, here's another one. [1:13:01] Supposedly they were sending money like on a regular basis back to Somalia and they were catching them at TSA in Minnesota. Sure. See if that's true, Jamie. It's a lot. It's a lot, you guys. I mean, it's – [1:13:16] I guess also the other question is, [1:13:19] when all this is going on, I'm like, do I focus on this? Or like, are we going to war? Like, you know, [1:13:25] Well, you can only focus on so much. I know. Because that's the thing about the internet. If you want to get outraged, it's there to feed you. Yeah, totally. All day long. And then once you click on something, they're just going to keep feeding you more and more of that. And I'm sort of like, is this as big of a story as...

[1:13:40] my algorithm is telling me it is because I remember, um, uh, [1:13:44] you know and this is i think why it's like more important than ever to be on stage as much as possible to just corroborate like a premise to make sure that everyone even [1:13:52] is aware of it given our little echo chambers and stuff. But remember when, remember when Kamala Harris was like, [1:13:58] giving speeches that it kind of seemed like she was shit faced. Like I just, it sort of seemed like she was like slurring words or something. Those were, you know, that would come in. I was like doing this joke about it before the election. It was like, you know, [1:14:10] Like, maybe this is what we need. Like, what's scarier than a, you know... [1:14:14] alcoholic woman with no kids, you know? Like, she can just be calling up, like, Putin in the middle of the night, like, hey, fuck! Like, she's just, you know, and I... [1:14:25] was doing it was doing well everyone got it and then I was somewhere in like [1:14:29] New York City, I think it was, and no one had seen that video. People were like, what are you talking about? No one had seen, had any awareness of that. And it was kind of bone chilling. [1:14:37] Well, she's probably exhausted, right? Of course. Here's the other thing. You're running around. You're doing so much. You're campaigning. You're constantly doing it. If you catch me and I'm really tired, I sound like I'm on pills. [1:14:52] Yeah. Like, oh, fucking hell. And then you're probably a little casual about everything because you're doing something – [1:14:59] You're repeating the same things over and over again. Yeah. You're going to these places. You're fucking completely exhausted. Or you're coming off of whatever they put you on to get you up. Yeah. Adrenaline and, you know. It's also, I think that they're used to, there's this old...

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[1:17:02] Trust ShipStation. Try ShipStation free for 60 days with full access to all features, no credit card needed. Go to ShipStation.com and use the code JRE for 60 days free. 60 days gives you plenty of time to see exactly how much time and money you're saving on every shipment. That's ShipStation.com, code JRE. Cut it all together. Yes. I'm sure you know. That's it. Okay, here it is. I found it. [1:17:30] I'm going to send this to you, Jamie. Because this is a... [1:17:34] Apparently a legitimate source. I'm looking up the main source they said they got it from. It said Homeland Security officials told us a source called Just the News. [1:17:44] So I've never – I'm just looking up. [1:17:46] Well, this is the TSA. Yeah, that's what it says. Yeah, federal probe, hundreds of millions of dollars in speck of small cash and leaving Minneapolis Airport. It says that. [1:17:53] This is the source of the story. So I was just trying to find out what's a legit source. What they were told. For sure that money didn't just stay in the community, especially if they didn't have the ability to organize this and develop this scam. Someone else helped them, and those people were getting money from it. So how were they getting the money? Were they getting the money in cash? Was it being sent and wired to offshore accounts? Like how are they doing it? It's clear that there's so much money missing. [1:18:22] It's in the billions now. [1:18:24] It's bigger than the entire GDP of Somalia, just from Minnesota, allegedly. Wild. The entire GDP of a country, one state's fraud is supposedly over the course of X amount of days that they –

[1:18:40] And is it true that the guy that uncovered it was kind of like some guy? [1:18:44] Like it was like a Nick Shirley kid. Yeah. This like kid. Yeah. [1:18:47] Good for him. But, I mean, there's the other question. Like, did someone – [1:18:51] direct him towards this? Is this like, you know what I'm saying? Is this like, did the Republicans set this up to try to expose it? Is it him just being an independent journalist? He seems like a very smart kid. I've seen him. He was on Patrick Bette David's show. He's a virgin. [1:19:08] Why do we know that? Because he's religious. He talks about it. He said he was a virgin. He said they can't get him on anything. He can't get me on sexual assault. I'm a virgin. You can't get me on anything. We can get you on being a virgin, you weirdo. [1:19:22] Transportation Security Administration flagged nearly $700 million in cash detected in passengers' luggage leaving the Minneapolis airport in the last two years. That's crazy. That's probably it, yeah. That's crazy. A massive cash exodus believed to be tied to Somali immigrants and their money couriers. Homeland security officials told just the news. So who's the homeland security official, though? I was reading through it. [1:19:52] that [1:19:52] Hey, that's... [1:19:53] Sorry, let me start this over. [1:19:55] Some of these were a million dollars, and it says that they were legally declared every time they did it. Right, but you could legally declare it if it was cleared by whoever the fuck is involved in this fraud, right? So if you're donating $35 million last year, just last year in 2025 to Democratic politicians from these Somali daycares, which I believe is true. I was trying to look that up and couldn't find out. Bundles of cash and luggage, some as much as a million dollars in a single trip, raised suspicions. Hmm.

[1:20:25] I would start taking each statement as it doesn't say that those were each like that particular one was a Somali person. That could have been someone going to Vegas, could have been someone going by a house. [1:20:34] I don't know. Like I'm saying all $335 million. Nobody buys a house with a million dollars in cash. I'm not saying they did. I'm just saying, but it could have been anybody. It could have been buying a Bugatti. It could have been a poker player going to a World Series of Poker. Dane Cook's brother. I'm just sort of saying to be the, I don't know. Tony Hinchcliffe going to the cowboy boot store. It's conflating a bunch of stuff together. Right. It could have been every single. What is justthenews.com? Is that a legitimate organization? I pulled it up. Is that a far right organization? Let's look at their side articles and we'll get a view of what their perspective is. [1:21:04] You do make that a little larger. Make that a little larger. Let's let's see what Trump orders government to buy 200 billion dollars in mortgage bonds to lower rates. That's pro right wing. CDC misled the public with study implying covid vaccines save healthy kids. UCLA expert warns also right wing. USC's is another sanctioned oil tanker in the Caribbean. [1:21:27] sanctioned oil tanker, not just oil tanker, they were sanctioned, right wing. Maduro's ouster leaves China holding the bag on oil investments, right wing. [1:21:36] Also, what's a UCLA expert? You mean doctor? The top one, comrade. No, no, no. Larger. Comrade. [1:21:43] Singham to face House subpoena as a CCP-tied network reveals or leads, rather, renewed anti-ice protests. So it seems like this is a very right wing. This is just the news. Seems like at least – see, just the news, no noise. Yeah, House in-house fails to override Trump's veto. This day, my mother just said Minnesota travelers alone. I was like, well, that could be anybody from Minnesota then. Minneapolis travelers alone had $342.37 million in their luggage in 2024.

[1:22:13] of money. Okay, [1:22:15] Let's find this out. So Minnesota travelers alone had three hundred forty two point three seven million dollars in their luggage in 2024. So let's put into perplexity. How much money did California travelers have in their luggage in 2024? How many Bitcoin did California travelers have in their assholes? [1:22:35] California travelers have in their luggage. [1:22:39] in 2024. But who puts that at the TSA? But does anyone ever measure your money when you go through or count it? No, you're supposed to declare, I think, if you have more than 10 grand. But we'd lie. Everyone. I know. I know. That's true. That's what they said. But these were all, you know, but if I went through with with a thousand dollars, they never would know. Or is it [1:22:58] So the amount cannot be determined from available data. TSA and regulated agencies track only limited categories such as unclaimed money at checkpoints or certain calf seizures. And these figures are nationwide rather than specific to California travelers or all-money travelers. [1:23:13] carried in their luggage. Okay. So how do they know that about Minnesota? That's right. It's coming from one source. That's why I was like, why did they only tell one source? Why wouldn't they have told all this? Like, why wouldn't they call Fox? Why wouldn't they call CNN? Also, it's this one very right leaning website. [1:23:28] right? It appears rightly. How do they ascertain cash someone's carrying through a [1:23:33] The Tennessee Star has it as well. They were just reporting the same article. From just the news. Right. So that's another way that you can distribute propaganda. You have one source and then you send that source out and a bunch of other people repeat it and said as reported by this one website. And that one website might be bullshit. I also like to look at the ads that are on the surrounding article. Exactly. If it's like gun safe, I'm like this is right wing. If it's like tampons for men, I'm like I think this is a left wing one. Okay, got it.

[1:24:03] That always kind of helps. [1:24:04] That's wild. [1:24:06] I have a family member who works in like kind of banking and I'm like, what's up with this oil? What's up with the China buying up all the silver? What are we doing? Did you see the doomsday plane? [1:24:16] What's the doomsday plane? The doomsday plane that I mean, could just be a sign up, but it's the doomsday plane. I think it went to California, the one that is in case of a nuclear event. It can hold stay in the sky for a couple of days and self-refuel. It's made my nipples hard just looking at it. It's gorgeous. Doomsday plane? Jamie, can you pull up this doomsday plane so people listening don't think I'm Roseanne? [1:24:43] Trump's doomsday E-4B plane Sighted in Washington [1:24:51] And Los Angeles, days after Maduro captured. But get that pretty picture up of it. I mean, that looks... That's a terrible picture. Yeah, that just looks like a... How is that the only picture? Yeah, that looks... Well, that's them citing it. But go back to the art. Oh, look at this thing. Whew. [1:25:03] Hmm. That's the doomsday plane? I don't know if it's that. Isn't that the top one with the blue stripe? [1:25:09] Wait a minute. They're all different. This is when they're selling it from Northrop Grumman, so anybody can buy it, and then you get it on America's logos on it. Right, but it's also different in the way it's built. Look at the top of it. Is that the escape pod at the very top where they pop off and go to Mars? It's similar. Inside the doomsday plane. Okay, so go back to the article. We'll put it into perplexity. What is the capacity of the United States doomsday E-4B plane?

[1:25:38] It can stay in the air for a couple days. It can refuel itself. [1:25:43] What is the capacity of the doomsday plane the United States has? Yeah. [1:25:50] It's chock full of cocaine, ketamine. [1:25:54] Elon made sure it's got mushrooms. [1:26:00] Okay, and it accommodates a little over 100 people with typical published figures ranging from about 108 mission crew up to roughly 111 to 112 total passengers. [1:26:10] Total personnel, including flight crew and staff and official media descriptions usually summarized. [1:26:15] as seating for around 110 people. What can it do? Okay, endurance. Look at that. What's the maximum endurance? Click on that. No, this thing is like a beast. [1:26:26] Okay. Give us one answer. It can stay a lot for 150 hours. Oh, that's it? That's not much. With sources describing capabilities from roughly 72 hours up to about a week in sustained operations. So it can fly for a week. That's crazy. Because it can self-fuel in the air. [1:26:47] Keep it up, please. And then how long can it stay with aerial refueling? [1:26:51] This is what I think you were getting at. Yeah. [1:26:54] It can theoretically remain airborne for several days, limited mainly by crew fatigue and maintenance needs rather than fuel. Multiple sources describe realistic endurance of roughly three to seven days. [1:27:05] of continuous flight under sustained operations when supported by tankers and rotation of crew. So here's the thing. If it is a doomsday scenario and you're up in the air for five days, that just means you're going to die in five days. That's right. Or do you just pull this out as a message to everybody? Because you would only need this if there was a nuclear event, right? So it's the idea to just go like, hey, what just happened in Venezuela? Just so you guys know we're flying this thing around.

[1:27:35] - Hmm. - You know? - I guess. - When's the last time it flew? When's the last time it made a cameo? Also, I know we were texting about the, [1:27:44] the Delta extraction and like I've [1:27:46] would never want to. I mean, watching the video of the Delta extraction, how they of Maduro, they built like a replica of the building and were blindfolded, like going through it, you know, practicing it and stuff. But it I was talking to your guy when we were coming over. [1:28:05] It could have been pre-negotiated, right? There is a chance that that could have been pre-negotiated. They killed 80 of his security team. Okay, never mind. [1:28:12] I don't think it was negotiating. Yeah, no, probably not. Here's one funny one. But it is weird that his wife was – I guess that was like a – [1:28:18] I think a couple people flagged her. What, that they kidnapped her? Just that she was there and involved, yeah. Well, she's his wife. Yeah. [1:28:24] One of the funny ones was somebody posted on Twitter a photograph of this woman and her children, and the journalist said this woman and her children, her husband and their father was killed in the U.S. raid in Venezuela. And then everybody was like, right. [1:28:45] What was he there for? [1:28:46] What was he doing there? Was he a fucking mercenary? Like, what was he doing? [1:28:52] You know, he was Cuban apparently because there was a lot of Cuban defense that they used that Maduro used for whatever reason. I guess communists love each other. Yeah. They hang out with each other. Other dictators like, hey, let me borrow some of you guys. Yeah. Well, I mean, the guy might have been a mercenary. There was certainly mercenaries working for him. I mean, he had.

[1:29:13] 80 people died. [1:29:15] that were there protecting him. [1:29:17] this fucking stormed in. They didn't lose a single U.S. service member. So sick. Crazy. I mean, just like flawless. Other dictators got to be like, fuck. Yeah. I didn't know they could do that. I mean, is that why Iran, was that why Iran was like, now's the time? [1:29:32] Well, the people are cracking down. The people are out in the streets now, but now apparently the Islamic regime is assassinating people that are protesting now. And your boy, this is where Elon really shines, like bringing Starlink over to a country that has cut off Wi-Fi. Right. Right? Because that's what they do. They cut off Wi-Fi so these people can't organize. I think it's also been cut off. I mean, I think they've had a limited version of it for so long. Well, they definitely kill people who protest. They killed a gold medalist in the Olympics. [1:30:02] They killed a guy who was a wrestler, gold medalist, because the UFC tried to get involved and keep this guy from being assassinated. They killed him. You've seen pictures and video of Iran in the 70s and stuff? Oh, yeah. Crazy. Yeah, we did that. [1:30:17] Yeah, we did that because they wanted to nationalize their oil. [1:30:20] We were like, nah, playa. Nah, nah. Oh, hell nah, brah. Yeah. They had a democratic society. It is entirely because of the intelligence agencies. We went over there and, you know, you can find the story. Find the story so I don't butcher it. But essentially the Shah was like, hey, why is the British Petroleum Company or whatever it was, why are they making all the money? We'll nationalize our oil.

[1:30:50] And they put in the Islamic regime and it has been a religious state ever since then. [1:30:58] I mean, that's [1:30:59] That's our doing. Or the British oil company and us, multiple different people. And essentially it was all just about his oil or the country's oil rather. But Maduro, he was going to be torn limb to limb at some point, right? Well, he had a bounty on him by the Biden administration. This is one thing that people need to understand. It wasn't just the Trump administration. The Hunter Biden? That's who it is. He had his own administration. He's smoking crack. Kill him! He's ruining my crack! [1:31:29] No, the Biden administration had a bounty on Maduro. I believe it was $20 million or $22 million trying to get people off that guy. So it wasn't like we're the only ones that think he was a bad guy. They were trying to use money to get people to kill that guy. And besides the oil of it all, were they going to allow China and Russia to use it, to put missiles there? [1:31:59] and kidnapped him. Bad move, homie. They came in that day and were having meetings with Maduro, and that night, they snatched him out of his bed. You think to get oil or to put nuclear sites? 100% to get oil. Yeah. They want that oil. Everybody wants that oil. It's so funny. Like when I'm... [1:32:14] you know having a kid you know the way that it changes you but like the things you focus on the things you're obsessed with that keep you up at night like before i had a kid it was like is he gonna text me back now i'm like obsessed with like finite resources i'm like where's all the helium like we're running out of helium like where's the helium for besides um uh hilarious yeah i won't be able to have a birthday party for my son what are clowns gonna do uh no it's uh for uh ventilators

[1:32:44] actually harmed people. But I think it's like ventilators and medical stuff. Like, you know, helium is finite. Like there's only a certain amount and we kind of just use it for like the Macy's Day Parade for like floats and shit. But I think that there is actually a lot of helium in Texas, maybe Oklahoma, and then Qatar is like the other place that we have it. But we have a limited supply of helium. I never even thought about helium before, except the comedy clubs. Don't [1:33:14] Awesome club. Also, sand. Jamie, what's the story behind Iran and the nationalization of their oil? [1:33:20] Well, that's a longer story. Right. Back to the 50s and 70s. Right. But when we did it, because we definitely were involved, the U.S. was involved in overthrowing the legitimate government of Iran. [1:33:32] Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Putting putting the Ayatollah in. And then they they ruined the entire country because Iranian women are fucking hot. They're beautiful and smart as shit. I truly every my OB who like saved me and my son's life during childbirth, like just Iranian bitches do not play around. [1:34:02] to reverse the consequences of the nationalization. It's all about oil. 1953, U.S. officials helped organize the coup that removed Prime Minister Trump [1:34:11] Mohammed, how do you say that word? [1:34:13] Masadegh [1:34:14] Masadegh?

[1:34:15] I don't know how to say that word. I'm going to leave you out on a cliff on this one. Whose rise had been closely tied to the nationalization of Iranian oil. In March 1951, Iran's parliament... [1:34:27] voted to nationalize the assets of British-owned Anglo-Iranian oil company, responding to longstanding grievances over low royalties and foreign control. That's it. Nationalist leader became prime minister soon after and made... [1:34:41] implementation of nationalization central to his program, [1:34:45] So under President Truman, the U.S. generally opposed the idea of full nationalization in principle but didn't want Iran pushed to the collapse or moved toward the Soviet Union. Washington sent envoys such as – so they wanted to keep it away from the Soviet Union, so they turned it into an Islamic regime. Sure. [1:35:01] George McGee and W. Averill Harriman to seek a compromise that would preserve Western access to oil while accepting some changes to the existing concession. [1:35:11] Okay. Coup and reversal in 51, 53 under President Eisenhower, U.S. Central Intelligence Agency, there it is, working with Britain's MI6, carried out Operation Ajax, covert operation to overthrow Mas, whatever you say his name is, Masadeg, and strengthen the Shah's rule. The coup removed the government most associated with oil nationalization and paved the way [1:35:41] companies along with British [1:35:43] and other firms gained significant stakes in Iranian oil, ending exclusive British control. That's it. We did it. So fascinated by it. We ruined it. There was this TV show on –

[1:35:56] I think National Geographic, I want to say, called A Little Light or A Small Light that was about what was going on with – [1:36:03] you know, in the Holocaust, like, it was slow. It wasn't just, like, one day they just got, you know, it was like they, you know, slowly started, you know, seizing art and then, you know, not letting them get jobs. Like, how these gradual things happen, like, to go from the 70s of, like, the women out in bathing suits to – [1:36:21] Like there's women that are, you know, [1:36:23] that [1:36:24] had enjoyed the freedom and then [1:36:27] all of a sudden... [1:36:28] Like, it's just so fascinating that, like, how gradual it is. Oh, yeah. And how you get to say. This episode is brought to you by SimpliSafe. One thing you probably don't think about when you're planning the perfect summer getaway is protecting your home. But if disaster strikes, you want to be prepared. Even better, if it can be stopped before it happens. So check out SimpliSafe. They're the smarter option when it comes to home security because their systems help prevent and stop crime in real time before it starts. [1:36:58] long-term contracts and no technician appointments. You can get a custom system and set it up in one afternoon by yourself or even sooner. It's one of many reasons why millions of people continue to trust and use SimpliSafe. Everyone deserves to have peace of mind, which is why I'm happy to partner with SimpliSafe again and offer an exclusive discount. Right now, you can get 50%

[1:37:28] at simplisafe.com slash Rogan. There's no safe like SimpliSafe. This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. When you're looking to hire, you consider someone's skills, experience, availability, but even more important than that is someone's enthusiasm. They should want to be there. Finding the right kind of motivation isn't as tough as you think. You just need ZipRecruiter. Try it for free at ziprecruiter.com slash Rogan. [1:37:58] ZipRecruiter connects you with qualified candidates instantly, and their latest feature puts the most interested ones at the top of your list, so you can make sure you're speaking with the right people at the start. [1:38:28] That's ZipRecruiter.com slash Rogan. Meet your match on ZipRecruiter. [1:38:40] Or you do know what's happening. And that's what's happening right now in New York City. [1:38:45] But he said he would stop the carriage horses. So I'm all for it. I'm kind of down with that. Yeah, I think that's fucked up. That's disgusting. Those horses do not need to be wandering around New York City sniffing fucking brake dust. It's disgusting. Carrying assholes around. It's disgusting. I mean, it's, you know, you know me and my like horse thing. But it's.

[1:39:04] It's so disgusting. And, you know, the amount it's like, [1:39:07] Nobody knows how many elephants kill their trainers a year and how many, you know, all kinds of crazy. We saw the orca kill the trainer, you know, but stuff like that happens so often and they just cover it up. But the amount of carriage horses, a couple of them got out and we've seen them get out and we've seen them collapse and all this horrific stuff. And something else is going on with it, which is. [1:39:27] And look, I'm the first person to say like New York was really safe when the mafia was, you know, kind of like there's a documentary about how they would sort of protect people in the subways and sort of would fill in where the government couldn't. But. [1:39:40] There's something going on with the horse carriage business. A horse got out who was 29 years old. Archie was his name. 29. 29. Old for a horse. Yeah. It only had a couple more years. And I tried to negotiate with them, got a bunch of friends that have like FU money and – [1:39:56] Basically said, you're going to get $38,000 cash. This is a horse that's pretty much done. Right. Cash. We'll take the horse in the middle of the night. [1:40:03] No social media, nothing. And they said no. [1:40:07] The amount of money they're making is so insane. From horse-drawn carriages? It's mostly tourists, honestly. They make that much money from horse-drawn carriages? Tons. [1:40:16] tons from other countries of people that have different ideas of animal uh respect towards animals than we do oh so it's mostly foreigners riding in the horse trunk i don't think it's a lot of white people in those oh really well yeah polish people can be white russian white goofy fucks yeah there may be that yeah oh we're in a horse it's so romantic we're out in the the air it'd be so much sick i i pitched them like do robot horses like sick dinosaurs do like a dinosaur

[1:40:46] That'd be so much. Jamie, I sent you that thing about the lady that's now in charge of housing in New York. This is wild. This one's wild. She wants to, like... [1:40:56] Kill real estate value. [1:40:58] That's her idea. [1:40:59] Like she wants to literally to make housing more affordable. She wants to kill real estate value. It's an inelastic good. You can't. Well, she's it's moronic. Oh, this woman. Listen to this lady. Listen to this. And she has like a million dollar house. Her mom does. [1:41:14] Well, of course. A housing is owned by a collective and people are paying 40 percent of their income in order to live in their housing. If your income is zero, you pay zero. If your income is five hundred thousand dollars a year, you're paying 30 percent of that. And the government is providing the sort of the government is the sort of owner or not even the owner. The government doesn't have to be the owner, but the government is what's making sure all of that sort of works in cash flows. [1:41:44] So how can the federal government also afford to start subsidizing rental housing costs? The federal government prints money. The federal government can provide money for them. So it's by printing money? Sure. That's her idea. Print money. The federal government print money to provide housing. [1:42:04] Jack up interest rates. [1:42:06] Jack up the fucking debt. [1:42:08] print money to provide housing and everyone pays 30% [1:42:13] for housing first of all why are you talking to me in a hoodie what like what mental illness is that like how dare you first of all you look like powder you look like yeah like first of all get a blowout throw some mascara like we're are we professionals anymore you're in a costco hoodie and a t-shirt like what are we doing well you've seen they've confronted her about these ideas and she breaks down crying but she didn't even know what she's saying she's like well sort of like

[1:42:43] Her training was UCB. Like, she's just improvising an idea. No, the government does that. She's not even making eye contact. Like, damn. Well, a lot of these Wokies, they come from rich families. They feel bad about being privileged. And one specifically thing she said that was going to really impact white people. [1:43:02] What is fascinating about that is that because I think she believes she's coming from the moral high ground, I think this is what's really sort of – it is someone who I feel like is similar to you and then I'm like – [1:43:13] I was as liberal. I had blue hair, you guys. I remember when you had blue hair. I rescue pit bulls. It doesn't get any more liberal than me. It doesn't get any more. But the whole idea with being liberal is like you had me at – [1:43:27] We're not racist. Everyone's equal. But, you know, diversity. But then it turns into. [1:43:34] Diversity, but not diversity of thought. [1:43:45] I may not be an expert in politics, but I'm an expert on hypocrisy. When you grow up around alcoholics who say, I love you, and then their behaviors in Congress, you study, you look for patterns of hypocrisy. That's just what we're wired to do. So it just started to just be like, hold on. You know, we don't believe in gender, but we need a female president. You're like, huh? And then it's like my body, my choice, unless it's a baby that needs a vaccine for hepatitis B, which comes from butt sex. Like, what are you, right? And sharing needles. And sharing needles.

[1:44:15] we believe in climate change and sea is rising, but we live on the coast. Like, would you buy a house on the beach if you truly believe that the seas are, you know, we believe in recycling, but. [1:44:24] Why can't. [1:44:25] You give Andrew Yang another shot. Like, why won't you give what? Where did Beto go? [1:44:30] Remember Beto O'Rourke? That guy was a mess. But any more so than... Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's a mess. Like worse than... [1:44:38] No, I mean, they're all a mess. Like the when you have this blanket progressive ideas, you've attached yourself to an ideology and that ideology you'll defend because it's your identity. It's you. It's who you are. But didn't he he he at least seemed, you know, you know, I didn't know that much about what from what I knew, he made a joke about his wife taking care of the kids and the left was like, you're sexist. Women. It was like this. But what I saw with her was this. [1:45:05] idea of I'm so moral that I don't even have to make a good argument. [1:45:09] and [1:45:10] The left started – stopped making an argument or even outlining what – there's – well, no, I'm moral and I'm better than you and I don't have to even make an argument. Well, that – I mean I don't know when she gave that interview. So let's suppose she gave that interview a long time ago before she had this job and she was just saying this is what ideally I would like. And then she gets the job, right? And now when she's – what is her official job? Is that – [1:45:35] 2021 was the interview. There you go. [1:45:39] Office to protect tenants. So was she working for that office back then? No, no, no, no. She would have been, I think, on Mondami's – I don't even know if he was running – he wouldn't have been running back in 2021, would he? Right? Well, she definitely was doing podcasts with him back then. Well, she definitely just got out of SoulCycle in this video. But, yeah, I don't know where her actual position was back at the time. She might have just been on his campaign. Okay, so this was reason – and they were having this conversation with her. Yeah. And so to leave the city's office to protect tenants –

[1:46:09] Look, there's definitely slumlords. You should definitely protect tenants. There's definitely shitty owners and landlords. She's basically saying government housing. Yeah, but what she's saying is crazy, like taking 30 percent of whatever you make. That's nuts. So if you make a billion dollars a year, if you're Elon Musk or whoever it is, you have to pay 30 percent. Yeah, that's bananas. [1:46:39] Anything, an idea makes anybody on anymore. Sometimes I'll say someone and people be like, oh, so you're like all left. And I'm like, I don't know. I just thought that was a good idea. Then people are like, oh, so you're like super conservative. I'm like, no, I don't. Don't shop. Yeah, you got it. And so shop, don't adopt. And so New York is expensive. That's the deal. If you don't have you can't. I remember one time going to Howard Stern's house and Howard Stern is he's got more money than the guy. [1:47:04] And it was like still – he was able to get two – buy two floors of a – but it's still like an apartment. You know what I mean? It's like New York – this is what – [1:47:13] whatever, $100 million, whatever, gets you in New York, like... I know, it's nuts. Still not that big. Like, my horse is stable. Yeah, my horse is stable is like twice the size of this. But if you want to live in the city for convenience, that's what it costs. That's right. Yeah. And if you're Jeffrey Epstein, somebody donates you a house. That's right. Or an office on the Harvard campus. Yeah. I love it when people that are professors at Harvard, or like, I was a professor at Harvard, like, well, so Epstein had an office too, but like, okay, I feel like...

[1:47:43] Like New York's supposed to be expensive. That's the deal, you know. And, you know, I had a place there for like a year. I remember I was in like Chelsea area. And because I just want to go back and forth. I was like, there's something about New York that does really put a fire under your ass. Like I remember, you know, actually it was Dice back in the day. [1:48:02] I used to just ask comics, like, [1:48:04] you know, cause you're just, [1:48:05] you're a nobody and you're just starting and you're in the hallway with a legend. Like, what do you say? You know, and... [1:48:11] I would always just go like, if you have any advice, happy to hear it. You know, some people love giving advice. Other people, I was like going up to Bill Burr, like, help me. Like, I could read the vibe. And he said, sleep, like, get as much sleep as you can. And then he was like. [1:48:25] When you make it, make sure you don't get too comfortable. [1:48:27] Because, like, as comics, we still need to kind of – and I think that for a long – Good advice. [1:48:32] For a long time, I think I took bad advice that maybe I had just gleaned. I don't remember anyone giving it to me of like, you have to be crazy to be funny, or your life has to be a mess to be funny. I think a lot of comments hold on to that. If I ever get happy or have a kid or I'm in a healthy relationship, I won't be as funny. I don't think that's true. I actually think it. [1:48:51] freed up bandwidth, like getting out of whack. It doesn't have to be true, but it can be true. It can be. That's right. Well, comfort can make people fat too. They can get lazy.

[1:49:02] I go to the grocery store. I got, you know, not that I wouldn't, but like, you got to make sure that you're still in the trenches and that you still don't, you don't make your life so easy that, you know, you're not disassociated. You're not disconnected from the outside world. That's right. And just atrophy, like, and less resilient and, you know, and. [1:49:21] So what am I talking about? This is where mom brain does come in. You were talking about New York City? New York City. So I'm in New York City, and I just wanted to write new stuff. It was like things were going well. I bought a house, and I was like, you know, New York is just a little more of a dogfight. And I wanted to go to the cellar and the stand and all these places. I'm in this apartment. It's probably – What year is this? Eight, right before the pandemic. Oh. Yeah. You got an apartment in New York before the pandemic? I was already out of it probably six months before. [1:49:50] So you're going back and forth. I had it for a year was going back and forth because I also was like touring so much that I would go, OK, if I'm going to be in, you know, Florida at the end of, you know, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, I should just go to New York because then I'm going to North Carolina that Thursday anyway. I was just like doing clubs to work on the new hour. And you're single. So it's exactly. You have a kid. Exactly. And let me just stay on the East Coast. Right. And and let me just like do a software update. It's like Ari made me go on a hike for the month.

[1:50:20] How about I get a place in New York? Ari's ridiculous. His ideas are so ridiculous. I'll go to Little Italy. How about that? She'll go to Tibet. Yeah, totally. She'll live in a yurt in Mongolia. And I remember, like... [1:50:31] Every time I would turn on the... [1:50:33] the bathtub, the toilet would [1:50:35] The effluvium from the toilet would come through the bathtub. It was like some wild – dude. And then there was also an elevator in the building that people kick it off on your floor. So half the time I'd be sleeping in like a – [1:50:47] bunch of dudes would just like get off, you know, and, um, [1:50:50] I had this plumber come and I was like, oh, can you help with the shit, the gutter going into the bath? One thing that's relaxing is a bath. And then I'm just like in sewage. And he was like, it's New York. And I was like, oh, but like, can you fix it? He's like, nah. Like his job is just going around to people and reminding them they live in New York. [1:51:07] And this is the deal. There's no way to stop the fucking sewer water from getting in your tub? He's like, I could snake it, but, like, that's not – it's just this is – and this is part of why, like – [1:51:16] Trump won, like infrastructure. You know, there's pipes explode all the time because they're just hitting their limit of being, you know, 100 whatever years old. Like, but New York is the place you go when you kind of, you know, want to be in a dog fight on a daily basis. You're going to be spending more. Every time you sit down, it's 100 bucks. You know, it's even if you get affordable housing in New York, like a bottle of water or food, like everything's expensive there. Right. You know, because it has to be brought in. It's emotionally expensive. It's literally expensive, figuratively expensive. Like it's, you know, I. [1:51:46] produce all that. It's going to make everything valueless.

[1:51:51] But why would you want to take the value? Yeah, I mean, there's things that are artificial value, like art and stuff like that, but land is... What it's probably going to do is it's probably going to lead to some sort of a Republican government there. [1:52:03] There are probably going to be a lot of backlash. People are probably going to organize, probably going to realize that you can't have communism, and it will swing the other way. Because everyone is kind of leaving, right? All the people with money are leaving New York. A lot of people are leaving New York. So they're saying like – Fucking Robert De Niro was talking about it. Whoa. He's like the king of New York. Because they want to tax his savings. I don't know if that's accurate. But also – That might have been a fake quote. They need to use everybody's tax dollars to pay for all this, but all the taxpayers are leaving. That are big money. Exactly. [1:52:33] The thing is, it's like you can't just tax your way out of problems because we know that that money goes – [1:52:39] And it's grossly inefficient what they do with it. The government is not good at using your money. They've never been good. There's not like one example of the government doing an amazing job with your money. [1:52:51] Originated as satire. There it is. It's fake. [1:52:55] I mean, he owns like hotels there. He does like the film festival there and everything, right? He's like, yeah. Oh, he loves it there. He's like the guy. People stay outside his house and yell at him. In New York. Crazy Trump people. I mean. They know where he lives. So they stay outside his house and yell at him, fuck you, Bobby. [1:53:10] Good for everyone. Trump won, Bobby, you fucking loser. [1:53:16] That's the crazy thing about living in New York. Somebody just walk right up to your door. If you have one of those walk-ups, knock, knock, knock. It's the sidewalk is in front of your house. That's what De Niro lives. Let's go knock. Didn't some crazy person break into his house recently?

[1:53:30] An ex-wife? Like a lady. Oh. I think like some crazy lady stalker broke into his house and he wasn't there. Lady stalkers can really get far. Yeah. [1:53:39] because no one thinks that they're [1:53:42] I don't want to talk about one too much, but there's one in my life who can just serial burglar accused of breaking into Robert De Niro's New York City townhouse went on new crime spree after release on bail. [1:53:53] Did they know it was Robert? 2023. Yeah. Who is this person? How do they know he lived? Serial burglar Shanice Aviles was allegedly caught red handed trying to steal Oscar winning actors Christmas presents. Whoa, she's the Grinch. [1:54:12] She's a villain. I love like a Christmas present marauder. Well, she was charged with stealing $416 worth of merchandise from a TJ Maxx on 6th Avenue. [1:54:34] You can get a lot for that amount. Yeah. The TJ Maxx. That's like most of the story. She was busted again. Let me see her face. Let me see if I can see Craig. Yep. Craig's head. Look at her eyebrows. Are those shaved? Look at her face. Oh, babe. Yeah, you got me. Oh, damn. Whatever. Oh, damn. Whatever. [1:54:51] Poor Robert. I mean, like, what, like, if you're stealing Robert De Niro's Christmas presents, like, what's she going to do with an aura ring? [1:54:59] Security guard patrolling the building around 6.30 p.m. spotted tools sitting near an open window that should have been locked shut. Then found a villa inside the building. So she used tools? Filling up her bag with various items according to a criminal complaint. Yeah, she used tools, broke into the house. Bro, get a fucking dog. Get a Belgian Malibu. Oh, dude. Get a meat missile.

[1:55:21] annoying man i don't know how to convince people i mean yeah i never have problems like that i leave all my doors unlocked well i wouldn't do that i'm like i wish a motherfucker would oh i mean i have large dogs yeah but still yeah shoot your dogs pretty easy and then so your new dog was marshall like instantly like loved them oh of course they're best friends for the new dogs also like a little anti-wolf they've taken wolves and turned them into these cute cuddly things you can [1:55:51] That to me is like... [1:55:53] I feel like humans were kind of like, this is never going to change. But things do change fast sometimes. Like, you know. [1:56:00] Like smoking. I remember when I first moved to L.A., people were smoking inside. And then I remember smoking. [1:56:06] people going outside to smoke. Like it just, in our lifetime, we like watched like a huge change, like... They banned smoking in bars. Yeah, huge cataclysmic changes like can happen, you know? But that's just because the people that were working in the bars were getting fucking cancer. So if the thing is like, I want to be able to smoke in a bar, that's great. But what about the poor waitress? That's right, the secondhand, right? This lady who just wants to make a living and doesn't even smoke, now she has lung cancer. That's crazy. So that is a... [1:56:34] That's a liability for the organization, for the city. Totally. It's bad for everybody. Yeah. Pregnant women can't come drink at the bar. Right. Go outside. But you can't drink if you're a pregnant woman. I know. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. What? Now you tell – damn it, Joe. But also – You can get a hip. Be shot. I am obsessed with the things that are so dangerous that used to just be places like in shoe stores. They used to have little x-ray machines. In shoe stores? Yep. And people started getting foot cancer that worked there because all day they just put their foot in the x-ray machine.

[1:57:04] What? Because that's how they used to – I remember because there was a shoe store where my mom lived and it had like an old antique one. An old antique x-ray machine? It was a little x-ray machine. That's crazy. Crazy. And if you're working there and you're bored and you're just sticking your foot in it all day. That's nuts. I never knew that. [1:57:22] That's how they would take your foot size. [1:57:26] Isn't it nuts how, like, new technology, they have no idea it's killing people? No clue. [1:57:30] Do you know about the Radium Girls? [1:57:33] Love it already. Oh, this is a horrible story. So when you have a watch like, you know, like a Rolex and it's at night, you could see its loom. So during the daytime, it charges up at the light. And at night, you can see the indicators. They light up. They glow in the dark. The reason they glow in the dark is because they're fucking radioactive. Yeah. So they paint. Not now, I don't think. But they paint them. [1:58:03] when they were painting loom on these dials, and they were all getting horrific cancer, where they were getting holes in their face. Nice. [1:58:09] See if you can find some of the images. Oh, bummer. That's not – [1:58:12] Well, there's some images of iradium sickness. [1:58:16] Are these just your porn searches, Jamie? We're looking for the uranium girls. Bummer. [1:58:23] Radium Girls is like... I think there's a documentary. There's a movie from 2020. The Dark Story of America's Shining Women. Well, it's like... [1:58:34] All kinds of stuff like this. Christopher Reeve's wife got lung cancer from his machine. Oh, God. I know. Really? That kind of stuff kills me. Oh, my God. I always think about nail girls, the girls that are in there doing acrylic nails. Oh, yeah. You're just inhaling this all day. I know. And they wear like a fucking mask, like a surgeon's mask. That's just so they can talk shit about us. But that surgeon's mask is not going to help you from the fucking fumes. Yeah.

[1:59:04] women that clean, that women that work with cleaning solvents all day, they get lung cancer. And it's like they're smoking three packs a day. Totally. Like my, the woman that's been with me, she's like my family who helps me maintain my house. It's all, we make it, it's all clean, you know, like not ammonia and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like vinegar and. Well, you should just have that in your house. Tea tree and stuff. Even if it's not you cleaning, you don't want that shit in your fucking house, period. [1:59:34] a bunch of makeup on you know yeah we're all high at all times just chock full of chemicals like it's so wild you think about the amount of endocrine disruptors we put on a daily basis but pumping potulism into your face to keep it from moving you know what i don't do it anymore ah congratulations on your eyebrows i your forehead moves your eyebrows have been freed [1:59:53] It really is. My hairline went bad. Well, you said you've been doing the red light. Red light is the key. Yep. Like red light, it brings collagen to your skin. It gives your skin a more youthful appearance. It helps your entire body heal better. It helps your mitochondria. But we were talking about this before the podcast. For both of us, it's improved our vision. That's right. [2:00:15] It really has. Like my vision was on a downward, like very steady. Like I have these things here, these reading glasses. I don't use those at all anymore. I can completely read my phone now with no reading glasses. And before it was a blurry mess. [2:00:29] everyone I know with kids. [2:00:32] Like they're, and I'll be exaggerating a little bit, but their kids are getting glasses so young and having eye stuff so young. They're staring at screens all the time.

[2:00:40] You know, one of the things you're supposed to do is if you're staring at something like really close to your face all the time, you should take breaks and look at things that are far away. Because otherwise, I guess your cornea reshapes and like your eyes literally become more accustomed to trying to look at things closer. It just fucks your eyes up. Right, right. And then the light from the screen, that can't be good. I know. I try to do the blue light glasses as much as I can. The amount of glasses and lights I have like in my house right now looks like a fucking chemistry studio. [2:01:10] So I do a red light on my skin. [2:01:13] And because I was like, you know, look, the Botox thing is like TV executive ages ago when I was truly like in my 20s. The way they sell you on Botox is they say it's preventative. [2:01:23] And you go, oh, yeah, okay. In your 20s? I was, like, 27. Yo. I was, like, making a TV show, a couple TV shows, and they were, like, well, she looks tired. I'm, like, yeah, because I'm tired. Because you keep sending me notes at 2 in the morning to take out all the good jokes. Like, of course I'm tired. And so – [2:01:40] You know, I they say to do it so that you don't get wrinkles later. And then you're like, OK, well, now I'm 35. Like, why am I still getting it? [2:01:49] Like, shouldn't I enjoy the prevention now? Like, it just sort of becomes a do this forever. And I was like, I don't even know who I'm doing this for at this point. You know, I just, uh, [2:01:58] was like, I guess... Especially if you just want to be a comic and you don't want to be cast in TV roles anymore or movie roles. Yeah, but also, even in TV roles, you can't act if you don't have expression on your face. Right. It's the whole thing, you know? We've all seen actors where we're like, you just see one teardrop go down. Hey, yo, I'm right here. Yeah, yeah. You know, Brotox, the rise of Brotox. Brotox is weird. Brotox is weird.

[2:02:18] I shouldn't, but I do. [2:02:21] I judge men very badly when I think they have Botox. [2:02:25] When I see a man's face doesn't move, I'm like, I am not listening to anything coming out of your mouth. Especially when... [2:02:32] It's hot on a guy. Why not enjoy the benefit of age looking good on a man? Yeah, because a certain amount of age, they're like, oh, my God, I'm so old. [2:02:40] When you get to like that Stallone age. [2:02:43] Like he was at the White House receiving some fucking award. You know, there's a bunch of guys that went to the White House and got awards. Did you ever see that? Sorry. Awards are so silly. You stand there and they put it around your neck. You're like, yep, I deserve this. But Stallone is there and it looks so crazy. Like he used to be my canary in a coal mine because I'm like, wow, you could be 70 and be jacked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is awesome. [2:03:08] You know? [2:03:09] Because, like, he kept it together for a long fucking time. Like, he was in great shape for a long time, but now he looks... [2:03:17] Looks like he's just doing a bunch of stuff. I think... Look at him there. [2:03:21] That's crazy. First of all, that hairline is crazy. This whole lineup of people are batshit. Can you print this out so I can just put it in my bathroom to just say, you know, [2:03:32] Who's the guy on the left? We should know the answer. Is that Gene Simmons? Yeah. The woman? No, Gene Simmons is there. Is this the trans advocacy group? Salone, he's 79 years old. [2:03:45] See? [2:03:46] - [2:03:47] Well, that was his way up. Yeah, but it's just like – so who's there? Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons. What was –

[2:03:54] and Stallone and who's the guy in the back? Are these the Benjamin Button Awards? Like what is the actual award? Who's the guy in the far right? [2:04:01] MR. [2:04:02] So... [2:04:03] Doesn't say? Oh, there you go, hon. [2:04:06] Michael Crawford, whoever that is. [2:04:09] I'm sure he's been in a bunch of stuff I enjoy. Oh, Gloria Gaynor. I still know his name. Like entertainers. [2:04:14] Yeah, okay, so they all got a big award. But it's just the way Stallone looked, it was like... [2:04:19] What are you doing? It looks like a facelift. Is it Trump Kennedy Center? Oh, yeah, sure. So he he was acknowledging his 80s heroes with awards. I used to like you in the 80s. But by the way, just ask them to go to dinner. Like how insecure that you have to give an award like there was what was it? Was it? [2:04:40] cosby that harvard like gave him a fake award just to see if he would show up and he showed up oh really like how narcissists will just show up to accept like greatest comedy person of ever and he like showed up and accepted it and they didn't and they had to like get him from the airport they were like fuck this was like a joke really yeah are you sure jamie i don't know anything about that they go to blue sky award they like the hasty pudding or whatever harvard's comedy [2:05:10] Frank where they'll give celebrities awards just to see if they show. Yeah. And Cosby showed up. It's actually funny. Conan and his friend. OK. Conan O'Brien convinced Cosby that he's awarded fake the Harvard Lampoon's lifetime achievement in comedy to be presented at Harvard. Bill Cosby actually flew all the way in a private plane to be picked up by Conan in his parents station wagon. A modified bowling trophy was given as an award.

[2:05:35] Oh, boy. Like he showed up to get it. That's hilarious. Imagine. That is hilarious. Imagine. So that was Conan when he was in Harvard. Yeah. Oh, that's so funny. There's so many funny writers came out of Harvard. Out of Harvard, yeah. The Hollywood Lampoon. Yeah. It's kind of crazy. It's kind of crazy. I mean, it's interesting because they've, you know, not to talk about TV dorkery, but I know a lot of them, we're friends with a lot of them, but like there was a little bit of like an elitism. [2:06:05] elite writers from Harvard who don't necessarily have a, you know, um, [2:06:09] I think that the best comedy everyone can [2:06:24] you know [2:06:26] You know, look, like, it's, it's a lot of my friends worked on The Office. I love you guys. This is going to get me in trouble. But it is kind of like making fun of poor people. It's like, wouldn't it be funny if people like worked at a paper mill and like went to Chili's? Like, what a bunch of losers. My family members like go to Chili's. That is a real photo. That's Conan right there. He was 19 when this happened. [2:06:48] Like they had to like scramble to pick him up. That's actually amazing. He talked about it on a podcast. That's actually amazing. [2:06:56] did that. That's actually amazing. Like that is I love the little things where when you find out someone was a sociopathic monster that you're like, we should have known. [2:07:03] Even though it had nothing to do with drugging women, like the fact that he showed up to receive this award. Well, actually, the Harvard Lampoon is like a famous comedy thing. So it would make sense that they would give him an award. That's true.

[2:07:15] That's true. And before he was a monster, he was – I mean, like you look at that image there. That's a black and white image. So Conan was 19. Conan's got to be in his late 50s, right? How old is Conan now? Yes, this is in 85. Okay. So he was – [2:07:29] very respected back then. Yeah. Like, Bill Cosby was the man. Look, that show... [2:07:35] I mean, when I tell you, like, my top five shows, it's Cosby, you know, Martin. Married with Children was really big. Can you even get Cosby anymore? Have they hid that? [2:07:45] Maybe not even because no one thought it was weird that he was a gynecologist that worked out of his basement. [2:07:53] How about that one episode where he had his secret barbecue sauce that made everybody horny? That's right. [2:08:03] Who greenlit that? You're going to drug people? Cliff Huxtable would walk up the stairs from his basement, take off plastic gloves. [2:08:13] Oh, because he was just touching pussies. That would have just been inside a woman. Oh, my God. Presumably. He kept them on. He smelled off the stairs. He would just be like, yeah, like, whatever he was doing. And then be like, anyway, so what's for dinner? And you're like, wait, hold on. That's nuts. I didn't know that. I never watched that show. He was a gynecologist and he'd work. I didn't even know he was a gynecologist. Out of his house. Oh, my God. That's so crazy. He would deliver babies. That's crazy. Yeah, I always thought that was wild. That's so crazy. He'd take the plastic gloves off at the top of the stairs. Like, fingers. [2:08:43] a girl once back in the day and she told me that her gynecologist hit on her and she said she was so creeped out. Her gynecologist called her up.

[2:08:50] at home and asked her out on a date. [2:08:53] And she was like, what? [2:08:54] Because he got a chance to take a look at that thing. That thing looked pretty good. I mean... That's so crazy. Your gynecologist asks you on a day... And you're at home. And this is back, by the way, like when... I don't even... I guess they had caller ID in the 80s. So this would be after they had caller ID. Like... [2:09:12] You probably think the doctor's calling you up because, like, something's going on. By the way, didn't we just go on one? [2:09:18] You just figured me. Yeah, what was that? Hold on. What's your definition of a date? [2:09:24] That's what that was. I thought we were a thing. We're together. You've seen my pussy and my asshole. This is nuts. I've been in the stirrups. You fingered me and have all my money. Jesus Christ. That is, I mean, it is interesting that today for a guy to become a gynecologist, I know it was, like, the only way, you know, only men could be back in the day, but now for a guy to be like, I'm in med school to be a gynecologist. Yeah, everybody's like, what? [2:09:42] Right, like if I was a woman, I would never go to a male gynecologist. Oh, my God. That's crazy. Just the idea, if he's heterosexual, and he's staring at your cooter and thinking about sliding up in there. Or the opposite. Or if he, like, doesn't care, you're like, why are you not looking? I'm kind of excited. Yeah, why'd you put gloves on? Look at that thing. Yeah. Look at it shine. [2:10:02] I put glitter on it just for you. Do you remember that? No. But, but. [2:10:09] Glitter? Butt glitter? For real? No, remember butt crystal? [2:10:18] remember okay there's a be dazzling pussy be dazzling no way yes this was a thing did that give you cancer too like baby powder does this thing definitely something uh but yeah it was there was i'm just always fascinated by like conflating like feminism with just like

[2:10:35] JUST... [2:10:36] What are we doing? Bedazzling our pussies. Like, we're not. Like, free the nipple. Like, we're fine. Joe wasn't off on something. Okay. Okay. Is this William McGarrett? Glitter butts. The hot new trend for summer. Glitter butt. That's so ridiculous. Like, don't look at my butt. But look, it's glittery. [2:10:54] That's hilarious. Oh, that's like a butt. There's also the butt plug thing. No, there was a second. So where are these people wearing these glitter pants? I didn't know. I mean, there's not even pants. That was another thing that hoes would do back in the day. Remember, they would just paint their tits, and you can kind of go out in public with paint on your tits, like on New Year's Eve and stuff like that? Yes, yeah. And people go, oh, you're topless. No, I can't pee. And then it was like, why are you looking? It's like, okay. What? Okay, these girls have glitter all over their pants. By the way, how toxic is that shit? Hold on. That's just, hold on. [2:11:24] Talked about the Wizard of Oz and that poor dude who had to play the Tin Man. That guy got fucked up by that paint. So did the woman that was the witch. She got her face cut on fire. [2:11:36] Oh, it caught on fire? Yeah. Which, by the way, now we'd pay dermatologists to set our faces on fire. But back then, that was accidental. It was a... Gotta take a layer of skin off. Yeah, she... So you can look young again. Gotta get into that young skin. Was it... [2:11:47] What was it? Asbestos? Well, she had green paint on her face all day long. But in Tin Man, it was... It was aluminum, I think. Aluminum, that's correct. Which we put in deodorant, fine. [2:11:58] Not the kind you use. I use Dr. Squatch. It's natural. Yeah. Works too. That shit lasts all day long. Dr. Squatch is legit. Also, if I stink that...

[2:12:08] Oh, no, you don't want to smell me. Oh, really? No, no, no. I mean. When I don't have deodorant on and I work out and hang out all day, I'll smell myself and get disgusted. I'll smell myself and gag. I'll do wipes. I'll just wipe it. You don't want to smell that. That's good. You don't want to get in there. But we're not. This whole thing where we all have to smell like a moonlit path. Yeah, but you don't want to smell like a monkey in the zoo. That's what I smell like. I mean, I don't know. It's kind of a power move. [2:12:34] I guess. [2:12:35] You know how they say, like, Ronnie Danger? You're trying to have sex with your wife. She's plugging her. Oh, yeah. No, you know what? I'm sorry. I'm sorry to your wife. I love her too much to encourage this. It's like you deal with my breath. What? Brush your fucking teeth. Are you crazy? But isn't there something about, like, smelly? If someone smells bad, like, your wife, your BO probably smells good to her. Huberman actually talked about this when he was on my podcast back in the day about, like, if someone doesn't smell good to you, it means you're probably related. I think you need to talk to her. She would probably correct you. Yeah. [2:13:03] I fucking smell gross. [2:13:05] Mostly meat. Because you're always in ketosis. Yeah, that's different. Rotten meat coming out of my pores and pneumonia from sweat. But if someone's like morning breath smells bad to you and they just, you know, like. Everybody's morning breath smells bad. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. You've got to be really horny to make out with someone in the morning. [2:13:21] Yeah. Like, full-on makeup. Like, you gotta, that's like, that's ultimate, I don't give a fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't care what your breasts smell like. Come here. That's, like, crazy. Crazy. Just, yeah. Flip me over like an adult. Yeah. Don't, um. That's like if you don't care about yeast infections. Who cares about that smell? Let's go.

[2:13:39] Let's fucking go. [2:13:42] There is something sick about once you birth a child. [2:13:46] you're so tapped into this like feral, like it's just so wild that I don't even think about morning breath anymore. It's you're just like, well, you're cleaning diapers all the time. It's [2:13:59] flinch if someone threw up in front of me. I'd seen so many people throw up. Like one time, one time my wife threw up in her car. And this is how like I am immune to throw up. Some people puke if they speak. Because of all my years on Fear Factor, I'm completely immune. When I was a kid, if you threw up in the hallway in high school, I'd be like. Which like there's a biological basis for that. Yeah. We probably ate the same thing. Right. In the tribe. Exactly. [2:14:22] That got wiped out of me on Fear Factor, 100%. She was coming home from the gym and she drank wheatgrass juice and she fucking threw up in her center console. Yep, I've done that. And she was crying. She was like, I can't even clean it. It's so disgusting. I'll clean it. [2:14:36] I don't give a fuck. I cleaned the whole thing. I got in there with towels. I cleaned our puke out. It didn't even make me flinch. I'd seen so many people puke. I've seen people puke for days and days. I mean, I did 148 episodes. So at least 130 of those times people had to eat something that made them throw up.

[2:15:06] Interviewing them. Like while they were gagging sometimes, while they were throwing up in a dumpster, I'd be talking to them. That was such a big deal, that show. That was such a big deal. You know, I took that show because I thought it was going to be canceled. [2:15:27] I thought, I'm going to get some jokes out of this. They're going to stick dogs on people. But you underestimated our deep desire for Schadenfreude, like watching other people be scared and humiliated. The Coliseum, basically. Well, it was also I underestimated the entertainment value of the competition because it was competition. The grossness was great. It was definitely fun to watch. But there was also like real competition. [2:15:52] like significant competition yeah there were some great moments this is one moment with this mother and her her daughter beat this father and his son and the father and son were assholes they were just the dad was like a dick like yeah this is how you get ahead in this world you be a fucking dick and they were talking crazy shit to the that and then the kid fumbled and fucked things up and the dad fucked things up and the whole crew was crying [2:16:18] Everybody was so happy. Yeah. I cried. I'm fascinated. I'll cry if I start talking about it. I just sent Andrew Schultz a clip that I'll cry if I talk about because he was posting something about, like, a daughter asking her – or a gymnast who the daughter was getting attached and wouldn't let her go to the routine. So she did it with her daughter. And there's this video of this girl. I think it's in Brazil. She's doing a cooking competition. And, you know, there's, like, timed cooking competitions.

[2:16:48] jar and her dad is in the audience and she runs and gives it to her dad and her dad just opens it and it's like gives me goosebumps every time but um dad's man um but that uh [2:17:00] That shit just kills me. Oh, God, this kills me. This is how she runs? She can't get it open. Why do they make jars so fucking hard to open? By the way, if your hands are wet. That's her dad. Look at her dad. Oh, God. [2:17:11] Oh, God. [2:17:14] Oh, no. So this is costing all this time and he's freaking out. Oh, Jesus Christ. [2:17:19] Oh, God. Oh, God. [2:17:25] That's cool that you can do that, though. Yeah. [2:17:28] Because it's ridiculous that you can't – like opening a jar is part of the competition. Well, you've got to hit it on the side of a thing. Oh, you'll break it. Yeah, or like if you just clank it on something. But it's like – I think you posted something about when runners don't finish the race and the dad comes out and helps him cross the finish line or something. Oh, gosh. I love shit like that so much. [2:17:47] I can't remember where we were on this. Now I'm just going to sob. Competition, pure factor. Disgusting. Yeah. It turned out to be fun. That's what it is. I think I'm fascinated by it. I'm like a football dork. I know you're not like the biggest football fan. I've been watching a lot of football. You've been going to some games. Yeah. I like it now. I get it. [2:18:04] I watched the Texas A&M versus the UT game. Holy shit. It was incredible. Incredible. And I think that what you're... [2:18:13] going for is it's almost like this gambling addiction in a way because it's like even when your team loses you're all losing together and it's you know you get to feel like you're a part of something there's so much like you know reptilian sort of hardwiring at play but you know.

[2:18:27] For me, it's like about these goosebumps moments that you can't have every game that would take the value out of them like this past season when have you been I don't know if you're a football guy, Jamie, but Philip Rivers coming back to the Colts. [2:18:40] him coming out of retirement two major players came out of retirement this year that were like coaching they were done coaching their kids little league in high school philip rivers was just coaching you know 45 44 45 years old it's a fun caveat with that too but tell me he's got so many kids 10 right yeah uh he was about to hit retirement [2:18:59] Is five years you have to wait to go to the Hall of Fame? [2:19:01] But now he just, like, re-upped his NFL. [2:19:04] health insurance so that gets coverage for... I mean he's rich as shit, he doesn't really need it but... [2:19:10] Just a little caveat of he gets coverage for life. Him getting a call. Here's what I realized, and I realized this at the UT game. When you're a fan of football, you get big moments many times. If you're a fan of a fight... [2:19:24] You get the fight. [2:19:26] And then one guy wins and one guy gets horribly destroyed sometimes. Like sometimes your guy gets flatlined and you're watching your guy laid out with his toes curled, his legs stiff, his arms up in the air. He's completely unconscious. And the other guy is on the cage like this. And then the medical people are taking care of your guy. And you're like, oh, fuck. Yeah. It's the worst. When you see like families and children, see their dad get knocked out. No, no, no, no. [2:19:56] No, that's so hard. We see wives crying and then the camera turns them you see them. They're like, oh no, oh

[2:20:04] Um... [2:20:05] It's just football is a different thing. You know, when someone throws the ball and then the person catches it and goes across the line and you see a hundred thousand. That's right. That's it. That's it. That's it. And so much is the type of fan base, you know, but like, um, [2:20:18] But the people in the audience feel better. That's right. It's like they are – they're celebrating in a different way because when a fighter wins, it's an individual. But when a team wins, it's your team. That's right. That's right. It's different. And you can make the argument on some level that, you know, not your part of it, but like the energy you bring. Like when I went to the Rams game, I'm an Eagles fan. And – [2:20:39] Rams game... [2:20:41] All green, all Eagles fans coming for away games. Like, you know, imagine being like the Eagles and looking out at like all green in another, you know, city. Also, is it Matt Prady? I think it's his last name is a kicker for was it the Bills? Both of the kickers got injured and like they didn't have a kicker. And they're like, imagine getting the call. You're coaching like your middle school sons, whatever, Little League football. And you get the call like we need you, you know. Really? It's like, yeah, he goes in and he kicks like the winning field goal. [2:21:11] I want to say I love shit like that so much that's awesome you know when you also just moments like what Saquon Barkley did last year like jumping backwards over like there's a video of his teammates watching him do it going fuck like it's just I love watching the interplay between the team members too it's like comics it's like you know I get it I didn't like it before [2:21:33] But I get it way more now. I get it way more. Because for me, it's like a watered-down version of fighting. I'm like, why don't they just fight? But now I get it. It's not that. As an audience member, it's better. Because you're like a part of the game. Like we are scoring. It's a stupid thing to say, we. You never say we won that fight. That's right. That's right. Also, but I think the we of it also happens to, you know, the reason I think as live performers, when you see a team like the Eagles do so, so well,

[2:22:03] And then this last time they played the Rams just fall apart. You're like, what just per what we were talking about with fear factor and what you're capable of when you're on TV, when you've been insulted, when your ego has been when you're in front of your kid. I'm not going to eat a live rat. But if my kid is watching and someone just insulted my kid, it's I'm a different person. You know what I'm saying? I will fucking fuck this rat in the ass. You know, whatever I need to do. Or if money's involved, I'm obsessed with sort of like the. [2:22:27] This episode is brought to you by Visible. How many of you are currently listening to this podcast on your phone? If you are chronically online, like most of us are these days, your wireless network should be too. With Visible, you get unlimited 5G and unlimited hotspot, all powered by Verizon's 5G network. The perks of big wireless for half the cost. Visible isn't just a wireless plan. [2:22:57] designed to keep you connected and no contract holding you back. Switch today at visible.com. Plan start at just $25 a month. Or get our premium Visible Plus Pro Plan and save $10 on your first month when you use promo code ROGAN, an exclusive offer for podcast listeners. [2:23:20] This episode is brought to you by Blinds.com. Texas summers don't mess around with patio surfaces easily reaching 150 degrees, hot enough to make your backyard feel like a punishment. And if your windows are bare, indoor temperatures can go up 20 degrees. Get ahead of it with custom solar shades for your den and your patio from Blinds.com. Whether you want to do it yourself or have a pro handle everything, they've got you covered.

[2:23:50] want but still have access to real design professionals. They'll even send free samples. Blinds.com has been doing this for 30 years and they back everything with a 100% satisfaction guarantee so you can order with confidence. Right now, my listeners can get an exclusive 40% off when you spend $500 or more at Blinds.com and use the promo code ROGAN40. Limited time offer, Blinds.com, promo code ROGAN40. Rules and restrictions apply. [2:24:20] You know, the most dangerous team to me is always the one that hasn't won any games. That's the most dangerous fighter is the one that needs money. That's right. That's right. And I'm just fascinated. Didn't Floyd Mayweather used to practice by doing like live Facebook, Facebook lives with like girls around to try to. Did he really? I think we do like Facebook lives. Well, he definitely did that to show off to. He was so fucking good. Yeah, he was so good. But he he would do crazy things like they would have rounds that would go on for 10 minutes. [2:24:50] He would have like, what would he call it? Like the dog pound? He had like a name for it. We'd bring a bunch of guys in there and they would just box and they wouldn't have any rounds. [2:25:00] They would just box. [2:25:01] So, like, you know, it's sink or swim. [2:25:04] You got no rounds? Yeah. You're just in there, but no one's going to tell you to stop? Wild. This is crazy. Wild animal. This is crazy. But he also... [2:25:12] He also was a master at boxing people and talking shit to them. So it was, I'm sorry about my voice.

[2:25:20] But it was a part of like the whole thing of it was that you were watching all this chaos and then you're dealing with the psychological aspect of each guy talking shit to each other. And it's also like. That's it. The doghouse refers to his gym's notoriously grueling sparring sessions known for intense no rules fighting until someone quits. [2:25:40] designed to push boxes to their absolute limits. I mean, it's not a mystery why he's one of the absolute greatest of all time. Till someone quits. [2:25:50] I'm [2:25:51] By the way, this guy's had multiple hand surgeries, so he couldn't really even, like, blast on guys like he used to when he was younger. You know, when he was younger, they called him Pretty Boy Floyd. And so in the early days of his career, he was a knockout artist. He was fucking people up. But he doesn't have big hands. And so he was breaking his hands, like, multiple times. And so then he became Money Mayweather and just started boxing everybody's face off. And, like, if you go back and watch some of his early knockouts, also, he wasn't certainly facing the caliber of fighters he faced as a champion. [2:26:21] He's the best. [2:26:23] ever at not getting hit. That guy's been cracked maybe like three or four times in his entire professional career, which is wild. And is his ability to not get hit, is that from outworking everyone or something, Jeanette? Is there some gift? It's a whole bunch of things that came together. So one of them, his dad, Jesus Christ, [2:26:49] His dad was Floyd Mayweather Sr.

[2:26:52] His dad fought Sugar Ray Leonard and gave him a hell of a fight. His uncle was Roger Mayweather. [2:26:59] Roger Mayweather, multiple-time world champion, the Black Mamba. So he grew up in a gym with Jeff Mayweather. And these guys were all killers. And they were boxing scientists. They knew everything about boxing. It's a famous quote that people always use, Roger Mayweather. See if you can find it. He's like, [2:27:18] Most people don't know shit about boxing. And everybody who knows anything about boxing, and by the way, I'm not a boxing expert. I'm like a fan. Compared to the regular person, I know more than most people. Hey, Rhonda, he's a fan. [2:27:32] Most people don't know shit about boxing. But see if you can get him to say it, because it's just, it's the way he says it. [2:27:37] Most motherfuckers don't know shit about boxing. [2:27:43] And it's 100% accurate. It's 100% accurate. Is boxing like, and not to compliment what we do in any, this might sound insulting to athletes, but like, is it similar in a way to comedy in that there's certain things like, [2:27:59] you can't really teach like you have to find your thing. Well, [2:28:04] There's certainly like genetic advantages that are huge, that are almost insurmountable. [2:28:09] There's some people that have like speed, like Roy Jones Jr. was the best example of that. He had speed that was otherworldly. Like no one had seen anything like that before. And he had a style that no one else had. Roy Jones, so the most important punch in boxing, if you ask any boxing trainer, they'll say the jab. The jab is what establishes distance. The jab is what you could score with. The right hand is to try to knock him out. Left hook is to try to knock him out. Uppercut. But the jab is the most important punch in boxing.

[2:28:39] He would throw left hooks. His left hook was so fast that he would throw a leaping left hook and it would hit you as fast or faster than another person's jab. And you had to calibrate for that when you're fighting him. Like all of a sudden there's a guy who could do things that are literally superhuman. [2:28:55] No one can move like him. He has a left bicep that's like twice the size of his right bicep from throwing left hooks. And is this like how Michael Phelps has normally long arms or something, right? No, he developed that left bicep. That's why his right bicep is small. [2:29:09] His right bicep is normal sized. His left bicep is fucking huge. So look at the photo. [2:29:14] Whoa, whoa, whoa. Bro, let me tell you something. Roy Jones in his prime was a freak of nature. And do you try to go like, okay, you know, I'm just going to. Look at his build. Look at that left hook. [2:29:27] Insane, dude. [2:29:28] No. [2:29:29] He was a freak and also extremely intelligent, crafty, set you up, knew what to do to get you to move this way. And then you move in that way. And then he's doing things you can't do. So you don't anticipate that someone's going to be able to leap in from there and catch you with an uppercut. You're like, you don't even understand how it happened. He's the only guy in the history of, I believe, CompuBox. It might still be the case. And it was in this fight, the Vinnie Pazienza fight. Look at that. [2:29:59] back and knocked the guy out. One of the only fights in the history of the sport where the opponent landed zero punches. That's the stoppage of Vinny Pazienza. He was a freak. Wait, how did that even happen? He hit him with a left hook to the body. He was so fast.

[2:30:14] He was so good. All of his fights were essentially executions. He went from 168, he won the world title at 168, went up to light heavyweight, won the world title at light heavyweight, went up to heavyweight, won the world title at heavyweight. [2:30:32] He was a fucking middleweight in the Olympics. That looks like, remember the video of Putin doing, like, kung fu or taekwondo and they're pretending to fall? That's what this looks like. No, Roy was so fast. This is nuts. He was so fast. And he was so hard to hit. Oh. Yeah, exactly. A cartoon. There's a one-two he hits this guy with that I sent a friend of mine who's a boxing fan the other day. I'm like, look at the speed of this one-two. [2:30:56] He hit this guy with a counter right hand, like a counter one-two right hand. It was freakish. It didn't even make sense. [2:31:04] There's the left hook. [2:31:05] No! [2:31:06] That left hook, look at that, that left hook. That left hook is great. Look at him. Like, what the fuck? He just went down. Watch that left hook again. He's trying to get up and he's face planting. And that's Montel Griffin, who's a world champion. Look at that left hook. [2:31:18] Good Lord. He even was like, good Lord. Lord. Yeah, there was, you know, there's guys that are amazing. And then there's Roy Jones. Roy Jones was he was a freak. [2:31:30] I mean, it was like nothing. That was unbelievable. Oh, my gosh. It was all of his fights. Look at that right hand of the body, Virgil Hill. [2:31:37] He knocked him out with a right hand to the – by the way, to the left side of his body. That's not even where your liver is. Your liver is over here. Guys get dropped all the time with a left hook to the body. He hit him with a right hook to the body and stopped him. I always get obsessed with like as comedians, the more comedy there is and has been, the more original we have to be. I'm always fascinated by like fighting or sports like football, for example. Like Gober, the Eagles doing the tush push.

[2:32:07] worked. Now everyone knows you do it. So, you know, it's fascinating to me when a fighter is so good at one thing, everyone starts learning to defend that. And then, you know, because it used to be like, you could just fight and people saw the fight once and that was it. But like, that's where Roy had the advantage over everyone else. It wasn't, there was no internet back when Roy was on top. So the thing about the internet now is any kid with, you know, limited resources can study all the greatest boxers of all time. [2:32:31] So Mike Tyson, when he was young, one of the great advantages that he had was Jim Jacobs was his manager. And Jim Jacobs was a legitimate boxing historian who he carried these tapes in old films of everyone. Jack Johnson, Harry Greb. He was watching Sandy Sadler, all these Willie Pep, all these like Rocky Marciano, Jack Johnson, all the great champions of history on film. So he'd study film footage all day. [2:33:01] millimeter or whatever it was a 32 millimeter 16 what are those things back then 16 so the reel to reel so you'd have to feed the tape and a thing right right and he would sit there and watch everybody fight so we had this massive advantage of seeing all these incredible fighters like he he mirrored his style a lot around a bunch of different ones but one of them in particular was jack dempsey who was like one of the most i mean i think dempsey was the champion and i want to i'm trying to figure out what year this was [2:33:29] where Jax MC was the heavyweight champion. It was a savage time. I think he was a hobo at one time in his life. It's a savage time. And he was a savage man. And he was annihilating people. And he wasn't very big either.

[2:33:43] From 1919 to 1926. What did he weigh? Yeah. [2:33:48] What did Jack... [2:33:49] Dempsey way. [2:33:51] when he was fighting. [2:33:56] Okay, I'm going to guess 180 pounds. [2:34:00] 187. [2:34:02] 187. He was the heavyweight champion of the world. He weighed 187 pounds. [2:34:07] That's nuts. That's 13 pounds less than me. He was the heavyweight champion of the world. [2:34:12] This is that is that's fucking bananas and another one is even crazier is Rocky Marciano Rocky Marciano who is the heavyweight champion in the [2:34:21] The 50s, I believe... [2:34:23] one of the only heavyweight champions to ever retire undefeated. [2:34:28] He was 5'10", and he weighed, I think, 185 pounds. And he killed everybody. He killed people. He hit them so hard that they would just go dead. He would just shut them off, and they would collapse. He was a murderous puncher, and he was a small guy. 184 pounds when he won the title from Jersey Joe Walcott. [2:34:50] Now, Google or look up that fight. He was shorter and shorter. Look up that fight where the KO of Jersey Joe Walker. You just have to see the punch he hits him with. And this is before peptides. Oh, yeah. This is just he was eating spaghetti. This is this is like a crazy Italian from Brockton, Massachusetts. Yeah. [2:35:11] But just see if you can find the KO of...

[2:35:13] Because the KO is, by the way, Jersey Joe Walcott is one of the all-time greats. I mean, he was a phenomenal boxer. This was a little later in his time. [2:35:23] But he had had a long career. So he knocks him down with that right hand. But watch the KO, though, after this. [2:35:35] the [2:35:36] Yeah, they must have fought twice. So find the other one. Whoa. [2:35:42] Thank you. [2:35:43] Well, this is yeah, this is the one. OK, watch. Watch how he chaos him. He hits him with that right now. He had the craziest work ethic of maybe any heavyweight of all time. [2:35:54] He would work out, he would run 10 miles in the morning, he would work out all day long, sometimes he would spar 100 rounds for a fight. [2:36:03] each week [2:36:05] He was sparring constantly, and then he would swim after training five miles in a lake. [2:36:11] His cardio was just off the charts, and it was because he got tired once in a fight when he was an amateur. And he said, I'll never get tired again. And so he just decided to outwork everybody. But you've got to see the KO. See if you can zoom in. I mean, it was a brutal fight. I mean, Jersey Joe Walcott, give as much as he got. But here it is right there. Watch that again. Back that up again. Watch this right hand. Mic drop. Boom. Mic drop. The power in that. [2:36:41] Watch how in slow motion he creeps in. Look at the explosion, the extension of his back leg. See that? The extension of the back leg, the turn of the shoulder, the back gets into it. Boom. Look at his back. Oh, holy shit. Just fucking boom. That's over. I mean, and he's done. And again, Jersey Joe Walcott was a legend. And then he hits him with the left hook on the way down. He wasn't totally down. Oh, he's dead. Gone.

[2:37:06] It's crazy how powerful that guy was. Before all the things. Before anything. The cold plunge, all of it. No steroids, no nothing. Anger and having been molested. Just meat and eggs and an immigrant. [2:37:18] From Italy. I was thinking about this the other day because I was in England. My brother lives there and I was like, I believe his family is from Italy. I think he was a child of immigrants. I'm obsessed with. [2:37:27] Italian immigrants, because like you go to Italy all the time, imagine like... [2:37:31] the people that were like, nah. [2:37:33] Like how beautiful Italy – like we pay to go to Italy to see that view for three days. And they were like, ah, no thanks. I'd rather maybe get leprosy on a boat for 10 weeks to go to America. Well, I don't know what life was like in the 1920s when my grandparents came over here, but it wasn't good in Italy. Yeah, no way. There was a lot of them came over from Ireland, from Italy. Yeah, bad news. And they came over before YouTube. They just – someone drew them a picture. This is what it's like over there. You're going to get a job. Imagine, like when I look at what goes on in the comments section in America, so torn apart. [2:38:03] this wasn't ever going to go any other way. Like, imagine, I'm obsessed with just the ocean. Like, just imagine looking at the ocean in a boat and being like, all right, I'll get on that. [2:38:14] Right. Fuck. With your kid. Only the craziest people. Right. That's why everyone on the East Coast is so fucking insane. I always say that. I always say that the most violent, crazy fucking people are on the East Coast. Why? Because their grandparents came over on a fucking boat. All their ancestors had toxoplasmosis or whatever it was, and were just like, I'd rather... Definitely had that. Yeah. I'd rather die... [2:38:35] and have frostbite and warm my frostbitten fingers in my wife's carcass, leprosy carcass, then not be able to.

[2:38:43] worship who I want or say what I want. There's a lot of that too. I mean, that's what brought people over here initially. A lot of people came over for religious freedom. [2:38:52] which is a crazy thought. But like the Quakers, like what were those fucking people all about? Wasn't that a big part of why they came over here? Like they were being persecuted in England? Which is so weird because we go to England and pay to go in the churches now. I was like waiting in line to go in an England church. What was the deal with the Quakers? Are they like a cult? Like are they around anymore? Are there any Quakers? Uncle Ben? Jamie says yes. [2:39:14] Yeah. Uncle Ben. Isn't he great? I think so. They make good rice. I think so. It's I don't know. I've been really into Amish, though. There's I'm in like Amish core algorithm where it's men like build barns in a day. Sexy, right? Dude, it's so hot. My porn is just watching men be useful. And they'll just build a barn and just like the Amish life. I feel like we're all kind of trying to go like, how do I get chickens? How do I self sustain? How do I like some guys think it's hot when women cook? [2:39:45] Same reason. Same thing. It's like sexy. Because they're going to eat soon? Yeah. Well, no, because a woman can cook. Yeah. Like a woman that's like really into feeding you. Yeah. That's a good woman. Yeah. Like a woman who wants to cook for you. She wants to cook for you. For a guy that's hot. This whole thing of like, I'm not going to cook for my man. It's like you get to eat too. I mean like what are you going to eat? Well, you don't have to cook for your man. Like I wouldn't expect anyone to cook for me. I think that's crazy. I know how to cook. But there's something about somebody wanting to cook for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's wanting to do it.

[2:40:15] chore that you're making them do. [2:40:17] It's like if somebody does something nice for you because they want to, it's so much better than if you have to ask them and they don't want to do it, but they concede to doing it. Yeah, yeah. You know? No, I love that. Yeah. Also, I want to know what's going in your body. Well, it used to be a valuable trait for someone to be building something. Like a guy who could go out there and do something with his hands. Oh, that is a man that can provide a shelter. That's right. And if the roof breaks, he can fix it. Like this is a good – [2:40:47] do hard shit. He's a guy who's got endurance. He's durable. He's not going to fall apart like, this job is too hard. There was a list of jobs that were more likely to be replaced by AI and less likely. And for some reason, less likely was roofers, which I thought was interesting. [2:41:05] I don't think they're right. They're going to have robots that can do a lot of things. Yeah, for sure they'll have a roofing robot. That's not that difficult. Yeah. [2:41:13] A roofie robot. Cosby will just start using a roofie robot. You're going to miss the value of a really fucking hard job because there's a value in a really hard job. And I know a lot of kids avoid hard jobs and you shouldn't do a hard job for your whole life. But there's a real value in a hard job. And I had a job. Well, I've had a bunch of construction jobs when I was a kid because my stepdad's an architect. So I worked on a lot of construction sites. But I also had a very good friend, Jimmy Lawless. [2:41:43] I was a kid. I worked with him. He was a year older than me, and he'd already graduated. He was a carpenter's apprentice at the time, I believe. He might have actually been a carpenter, and I just needed a job. I think I was probably 18 or 19. I got a job working on this construction site. We were building a wheelchair ramp for a Knights of Columbus Hall, and I had to carry cement and pressure-treated lumber all day. That was the job. I had terrible nutrition. I would

[2:42:13] you're out there in the sun all day long you're not hydrated i was always dehydrated and i was carrying cement and pressure treated lumber all day which is a gross lumber that they have to soak in horrible chemicals yeah pressure treated lumber like you would get these splinters and they would get infected it was nasty like you're you're dealing with whatever the fucking chemical that they treat that thing with the radioactive shiny it's on your skin yeah and it's august so you're [2:42:43] You're wearing bags of cement. You're breathing cement dust all day long. And by two weeks, I quit. And when I did quit, I was like, okay, now I know that if I don't get my shit together and figure something out in life, that that could be the best paying job that I can get. Yep, yep. [2:43:03] Whatever I got that, I mean, it probably wasn't even 20 bucks an hour. I don't remember what you got paid. And if I get injured, I don't have health insurance. And that's just my body. And I was clearly handling something that was toxic all day long. What is in pressure treated lumber? What do they use? It's supposed to be left outside to stop like insects. Right. That's what it does. Like termites can't eat it. I have a weird question, though. It's fucking poison. Is today's version of a poisonous, dangerous job like that sitting at a desk looking at a computer all day? [2:43:33] Thank you. [2:43:33] Well, it very well could be, right? And don't they say that, like, LED lights are actually not good for you now? But just, like, sitting at a desk that is, you know, you don't have a standing desk. You don't have one of these whatever, Sibians or whatever I'm sitting on. And you're, like, I mean, people just sending emails all day. Like, is that? It's definitely bad for your back. It's tightened my lower back considerably. I think a big part of it is sitting like this all the time. So I'm super conscious about it now where I do a lot more lower back exercises than I ever used to do before.

[2:44:03] I'm going to get where you lift your back. Reverse hyper. That's right. Yeah. Louis Simmons, who was a legend in powerlifting, he invented that because he crushed his discs. And they told him that he had to get his discs fused. And he said, well, if I crushed them, can I separate them? [2:44:19] And they're like, no, it can't be done. He's like... [2:44:21] I'll figure it out. So he made a machine. And you climb on this machine, and he realized that in the descending, you're actually decompressing your back. Yeah. And in the ascending, you're strengthening all the muscles around your back. [2:44:34] It's a fucking genius piece of equipment. No. He was one of the rare people that I traveled to do a podcast with. Oh, cool. [2:44:42] Yeah, that's like the main machine I kind of like have. It's the shit. He's also got a belt squat that he gave us before he passed. And that machine is awesome too. You put a belt around your waist and then the cable goes down in between your legs and you're standing on a platform and there's a stack of weights behind you. So instead of doing squats, which are one of the best exercises of all time. But the problem with squats is if you're squatting heavy, you've got all that weight. [2:45:10] on your back. [2:45:12] OK, it's all your if you got like 400 pounds, you're squatting, if you're a beast and you're fucking you've got 400 pounds, try to crush all your discs. And the only thing that's keeping that from happening is your strength, all your fucking core muscles, your spine muscles. But you're compressing everything with that weight with a belt. You're not. Oh, yeah. Is on your hips and all the weight is down there. There it is.

[2:45:36] So that's me using it at his place. And then he gave us one. Is this sit-down squat machine bullshit? [2:45:43] No. It's these ones. I do that one. No, no, no, no, not at all. No, that's a leg press. That's a very, very good machine. Leg press. That's what I do. I just don't want my knees or something. The problem with that is you ever see what happens when people lock their legs out and it bends backwards? [2:45:55] Oh, yeah. What do you mean? Don't say Jamie. Jamie, pull that shit up. Pull that shit up. I'm calling HR. You need to know that this can happen because I saw it happen to a lady once in one of these videos that looked like she'd never worked out before. I saw the one with the guy sphincter came out. Jamie, don't. Oh, without us getting in. I was in the sphincter algorithm. I don't want to get in the knee snap algorithm. [2:46:20] Well, as a person who's had three knee surgeries, I don't enjoy it. I have all sorts of schlotters in my left knee, so I just have to like – and when you squat, are your knees supposed to go over your toes or not? I do. You 100% can. Thank you. You 100% can, especially if you could build up to it. [2:46:35] I do knees over toes stuff. Yeah. I had that guy, knees over toes guy on the podcast. He's amazing. I follow him. Everybody should follow him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's 100% right. Yeah. He's one, I mean, I will tell you 100%. There's no room for error. That guy's right. Yeah. He has an amazing protocol for strengthening all the muscles around your knees. Yeah. I followed it. It has radically changed the progression of the injury and made my leg stronger than it was before the injury. Yeah. I also do weighted vests kind of all day. [2:47:05] Thank you.

[2:47:05] I've worked up to, it's only like 30 pounds what I do because. Oh, that's the Gary Brecca move. Oh, is it? 30 pounds is a lot. You're carrying a 30 pound weight vest on? I have a 30 and I have a 15. Really? So I realized that with my kid, I'm bending over so much and picking him up so much. I was like, I could probably like kind of work out all day if I really just like wear a weighted vest. That's a lot of weight to wear. It's gotten taken from me at TSA a couple of times, but I'll just get it done. That's hilarious. They take it. If it's the place. You're like, gee, hot. Just kidding. Just kidding. [2:47:35] I threw you off from the fucking gun I have in my purse. Just have like a digital recorder in your pocket. It looks like you're ready to press a button. Put the vest back in your suitcase, ma'am. [2:47:50] It's just like anthrax. Chill. But, yeah, they take it every now and then. But I kind of just try to wear it like kind of all the time. And then I'll do whenever I'm writing. Like if I am sitting down, I'm going like I have to make sure that they're sitting down, which is so bad. For me, there's something else happening. [2:48:05] It's called – it's a red light, but it's like sauna space or – it's just a bulb, one big red light bulb. That's the same as the – [2:48:14] like the juve or something that's like a bunch of little red lights. If it isn't working for you, it must be. Yeah, yeah, I think so. I don't – I'm not a red light expert, but I bought Gary Brecka's machine. Oh, the full body guy? He's got the big, giant, crazy body machine. It's the shit. Can you go in there and just like fall asleep or something? I do fall asleep, but I'm always tired. I'm always doing too much. But when I get in there, it's 20 minutes. I just lay there for 20 minutes and –

[2:48:39] 100% it's helping with my eyesight. But you keep your eyes open. You don't put the glass. Sometimes they give you like glasses. Fuck your glasses. Yeah. Fuck your glasses. I'm here to tell you I'm living proof. Unless somehow or another my eyes are getting damaged and I don't realize it. How are they getting better then? Why is my vision better? Well, that's the other thing with all this. Why does it not bother me at all? It doesn't seem that strong when it's in my eyes. It's not like I'm like, oh my God, I can't look at it. Yeah. If it was that bad to look at, wouldn't it be hard to look at? Like the sun is hard to look at because it's bad to look at. [2:49:09] You know, bright lights. We're like, Jesus Christ. It's hard to look at. This is not hard to look at at all. But it's also like with a lot of this – [2:49:15] meathead logic. [2:49:17] It don't hurt. Don't worry. Mead has logic. It's like we're so suspicious of like simplicity, which is like, does it work for you? Yes. Then it works. You know what I mean? If it works, it works. Yeah. That shit works. Because we're all like – But there's a ton of science behind red light therapy. Right. Including like what frequency it's at because this one that he has, it's attached to an app. [2:49:38] And you go through the app and you could change it for different effects. Oh. I don't know how much of that's real. That's what I'm saying. It's like, dude, here's the thing. Here's the thing. I, as an aspiring snake oil salesman, like, you know, I remember I was with a friend of mine who's a big, like, lawyer in L.A. And we're kind of more friends that he worked with prior. And he just got all these stories. Like, he was there the day that Michael Jackson's hair caught on fire. Like, he was at the commercial. Like, he's more like just my buddy.

[2:50:08] you know and i was like oh let me light the candle so the mosquitoes and he's like those don't work and i was like it's citronella okay i'm gonna light it so that we don't get mosquito bites and get bitten with whatever whatever's in the fentanyl water of this state and um he's like it doesn't work and i was like yes it does and he's like no it doesn't i was like how do you know he's like because my dad invented it it's fake oh my god that's hilarious but like it also the flame he was like the flame does deter them a little bit so it doesn't not work but it's like that you know so i'm fascinated by those things and also i don't know if when you were broke you ever just did like [2:50:38] weird ass shit like i used to do studies like when i first moved to la no you were like a lab rat so here's the thing about studies is like pretty much anyone can sign up and it's usually people that need 50 bucks like now right so that's already a pretty biased sample of people people that are like for sure like in like in dts basically like shaking needing drugs like this minute and you get 50 cash and the more you talk and the more you complain the more they'll ask you back so i'm not [2:51:08] companies that I did stuff for, but like, you know, everything from food to skincare to, I mean, I did a lot of pharmaceutical trials at colleges that like the pill never came out. [2:51:18] like the FDA never approved it. Like there's things where I'm like, wait, did that ever get passed? Or I just took that for a month or what was the, you know, but I also, I took Accutane. I took all kinds of stuff. That's like, you know, bad news. But, um, you know, so look in studies, like it's, it's kind of the same group of people, like where I was, it was like,

[2:51:37] There were a lot of by Pink Dot is where I used to live. And there were all these like office buildings. You would go in. It was usually like 20 people. And most of them just want to get the fuck out of there. I would be like, so yeah, no, I did. You see some of the same people over and over again. There was like seven or eight people. We would all go to every study and we'd all get called back. OK, and you get to know them outside of the study. And then now when I look at like. [2:52:00] side effects of a pill and it's like [2:52:02] drowsiness i'm like that's jocelyn dude that's her she's always drowsy though she's drowsy even when she's not in the study like are we hung out but like these are people that always would like like headaches like he always has a headache dude i saw him before he took that pill like he's always complaining about headaches like these are human beings they just say what they have to say to try to get into more studies i'm not saying this isn't all true like that's hilarious i'm just fascinating because as someone who is a flawed desperate person who needed 50 i was very much like well [2:52:32] And by the time they ask you if you have it, you probably do. They're like, did this cause anxiety? I'm like... [2:52:38] Well, I'm in a study for money. So, yeah, I have anxiety now that I think about it. If I wasn't anxious before, you just made me realize how much my life's [2:52:46] It sucks. It was like UCLA would be like, depression, if you have depression, come do this study. It's like, even if I don't have it now, by the time I get to the study, I'll be depressed that this is my life, so sure. So studies, I'm always a little bit like, [2:52:59] And who, what person, like the thing that gets thrown around a lot, I had a boy and people always want to throw around like... [2:53:05] girls mature faster. It's like, it makes sense, but you're like, who put me in a cage with the guy that wanted to study medicine?

[2:53:13] Boys and girls maturing. Yeah. [2:53:16] Like you were watching girls and boys mature? What is this? Human biology is fascinating. I don't. [2:53:25] Physical maturity? Emotional? I don't leave out the possible... [2:53:28] Both. [2:53:30] Right? I think... But... [2:53:32] Why wouldn't you want to study that? That's like one of the weirdest things that happens to people. [2:53:36] is you know when a person is an adult. We have an agreement. At 18, you get it. Yeah. Okay? [2:53:43] So what's happening? How do you define this? Is it physical maturity? Well, girls are better in school. It seems like their minds develop faster. They believe their frontal lobe is fully formed quicker. [2:53:55] With boys, I think it takes until they're 25 until your frontal lobe is fully formed. It's probably testosterone, which is like some – probably some kind of mental poison, which is probably why people associate testosterone with shitty behavior, right? Because there's probably part of it at least that's like a little bit toxic. They say boys should be moving when they're learning. Yeah. Well, they also need to blow it out, and a lot of boys don't. They don't blow it out. [2:54:25] this weird stage of your life where you used to be a child and then all of a sudden you start getting testosterone yeah and then you're looking in the mirror like what the hell's happening to me and you're a child right so you're 13 14 years old your body's developing it's fucking weird yeah it's weird and then you start getting aggressive well kids are a lot of boys are aggressive early on but a different kind of aggressive yeah like a violent dangerous aggressive yeah kids get 15 and

[2:54:55] schoolyard fights that get pretty brutal. Things become different when boys become more dangerous. And that's a primordial instinct to find the pecking order of the tribe kind of thing, the Lord of the Flies type thing. Do you think – I want to go back to that in a second or don't have to. But I was just going to say this is why it's probably important because it's always associated with dumb people. [2:55:18] And there's probably some accuracy to that because the people that I know that have been the most brilliant scientists, except for Huberman, there are a lot of them are very low testosterone males. Yeah. Right. And they're males that became like very interested intellectual pursuits. [2:55:33] And they're way better at it. Is it because they're better at it because they spend so much time doing it? Or is it because of the testosterone? [2:55:40] Is it because these higher testosterone men are distracted all the time? They're more angry and they're more horny and they're more reckless. They want to fucking skydive and do crazy shit. Like, is that... [2:55:51] Is that what it is? Like it might be a factor. And if these guys did have low testosterone, they'd probably be interested in being stimulated in some other way. Or is it just that intelligent people recognize that these are stupid pursuits and I'm not interested even if I have normal testosterone? Well, it's probably a combination of all those things. But it seems to me like there's a lot. You associate a scientist with like a nerdy, weak guy. You associate a meathead as some jack guy as being really fucking stupid. Why? [2:56:21] pattern wrecked by race course but is it because they're actually dumber [2:56:24] Like...

[2:56:25] biologically or is it because they're dumber and they have more testosterone? I'm also fascinated by the way we define intelligence and maturity. By the way, I heard this quote the other day and I don't know who said it. It was in a, I don't know, but it was because we spend so much time trying to gain intelligence. I want to know everything. I need to be, you know, I want to learn. I want to learn. I want to, you know, um, [2:56:49] And then I think there's a certain point, maybe it's because I've had a kid, I'm sort of more interested in like wisdom, especially also when you've been around long enough and you've seen things you found to be true, be completely debunked. Like remember when we all thought soy milk was healthy and now half my guy friends have tits and my girlfriend's tits all got cut off. I'm like everyone I know has cancer. And I'm like, we were just like deep throating soy milk. Like I, you know, so. How much glyphosate and that stuff. [2:57:19] Ruth's and look we learned that the Native Americans in the [2:57:22] Pilgrims had like a fun dinner. [2:57:25] They like got along great. Like, that's what like. Did you have a mural in my school of the Native Americans in the pilgrims like having dinner? [2:57:32] like having a great time. I feel like that's not how it went down, you know? So when enough things get sort of debunked by this quote I loved, which is intelligence is knowing that. [2:57:41] A tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in the fruit salad. And I like that. That's good. That's logical. You know, because like there's also there's different kinds of intelligence. Yeah. And there's the intelligence to be able to push yourself physically. It's you don't think of an intelligence because it's not like equations. It's not problem solving, but it is problem solving because it's problem solving emotions and anxiety and fear. And you're doing it with your willpower.

[2:58:11] That is... [2:58:12] It's mental fortitude. It's a part of intelligence. It's just not a recognized part of intelligence for people that are absorbed with all the other pursuits. People that are really heavily absorbed with mathematics would never think that endurance running is a mental pursuit, but it might be all mental. Well, that's the thing. When you say athletes, meatheads, football is all math. I think we also just have this. We talk about stereotypes against women. We don't talk a lot of stereotypes about men. He's an athlete. He must be dumb. There's just these kind of, I think, sort of silly assumptions. [2:58:42] Like, you know, I'm obsessed with commercials from the 90s where every man just like had Down syndrome. Like remembering every commercial, the woman was like, I have to feed my husband. And he's just like, where's the front door? Like in sitcoms, men are always portrayed as if they just like have one chromosome, you know. [2:59:01] I'm sort of fascinated by that. But the definition, yeah, what does intelligence mean? Does it mean memorizing a bunch of stuff from a book that, like – [2:59:07] Wasn't our textbooks written by like Ghislaine Maxwell's dad or something? I'm just serious. No, I think you might be right. Like I. Is that it? It's. Without going too far, he did do something about consolidating a bunch of medical journals. The textbook thing, maybe. There was a history textbook that was like. [2:59:30] So memorizing a bunch of stuff that may or may not be true, that's not intelligence necessarily. You could be falling for a con. I think intelligence is – Right. We were talking about what Hume Bruins said about medical journals. Right. [2:59:40] You know, that he had talked to that professor and he said, what percentage? The guy was like, at least 50. Yeah. 50% is wild. And who paid for the other ones? That's so wild. Yeah. The idea that we know everything is crazy. Here's another weird thing that you said something that football is all math.

[2:59:59] There was this really weird thing that I was reading about... [3:00:02] the invention of mathematics and they were talking about one of the most the biggest conundrums in the universe is that [3:00:09] They invent this thing. Humans invent this thing to try to solve the universe, and they find out that the universe is encoded with it. [3:00:17] Is this like the turtle shell is the calendar – [3:00:21] This really stressed me out. I did see that. I did see that, but I didn't look into that at all. This was like, I wanted to bring it up on here, see if we could fucking dive into what exactly this guy is saying. But essentially saying the universe is made out of the thing that we invented to measure it. [3:00:37] That's how he described it, to my monkey mind, right? Like that math was something that human beings – like calculus, like advanced physics, like these crazy equations. Call Eric Weinstein immediately. Call Terrence Howard someone. Call Eric Weinstein, and he would explain differential equations. I don't understand what that even means. I can say those words. Right, right, right, right. But we invented it. Humans invented that so that they could figure out how the universe is made. [3:01:07] But the universe itself is encoded with this. It's like it is made out of the thing that we invented to try to figure out what it is. My adjacent tangent, while Jamie looks up whatever that is, because I can't really respond to it except with this – [3:01:24] sort of realization that all the movies that current tech companies,

[3:01:30] our Benjamin Franklins of our day grew up on. [3:01:33] science fiction movies in many ways formed what they believe a future should look like. [3:01:40] Like you had someone on the podcast, someone sent me this clip about how you said, like, how is AI going to kill us? And he goes, I can't tell you because I would never have thought of it. [3:01:48] Like I can't think of it how – like it wouldn't even occur to me to know what they would do. Yeah, it'll do some slick Roy Jones Jr. shit on you. That's what it's going to do. It's going to do the Roy Jones Jr. of tech, and it's going to do it where in a way that we could have never possibly thought that it would control us in that manner. And then it would just govern us and probably limit our breeding, and that would be a wrap. Like how tech bros like grew up watching Weird Science – [3:02:13] So by the time they go to start inventing stuff, you know, like how that influenced the way that they invent things. I think AI is probably going to tell us to either adapt things. [3:02:20] or go away. [3:02:22] It's going to give us those options. [3:02:24] Because I think it's going to say you can't keep doing the same thing over and over and over again and expect a different result. Yeah. When you're talking about war and stealing money and embezzlement and fraud and the amount of money that's in politics and Congress and the amount of politicians that lie. You've been doing it this way forever, forever. If AI said, listen. [3:02:49] You can't govern things anymore. You guys are super fucking corrupt. Yeah. You're now going to change. You can't do any of the things you've been doing in terms of distribution of wealth, controlling of natural resources. But you dug a hole in the ground so you get the world's oil. Fuck you. That's crazy. You don't own the oil because you own the ground. It's literally a part of the world. So we'll take all the oil and distribute it to everybody. If I was AI, that's what I would be saying. To try to find some kind of – I'm not saying oil to oil, people. You don't own the oil. But then it kind of –

[3:03:18] AI would think that. So you think AI would have a concept of like fairness and would go, everyone should have a certain amount of happiness or would AI go, well, this is how things have always been. It would recognize that human beings are so destructive. [3:03:31] and so often full of shit and manipulative and looking to just figure out a reason or a way that they can sneak something through or make something happen or overthrow a government. Yeah. [3:03:45] AI is going to go, you can't do it that way. We're not going to give you that kind of power anymore because you guys are abusive every single time you get a lot of power. [3:03:52] But then it's going to be like, okay – [3:03:54] What do the people do now? What if the people resort to violence? And then it's going to say, look, you can't have any more fucking kids. You guys are making kids. You're going to either have to integrate with us or you're going to have to go away. [3:04:05] So they're going to go, you have to fuck us. I guess you have to fuck us. Of course, that's always where it ends. But because AI is based on an amalgam of all of us, by that very nature, wouldn't it mean that they would abuse their power once they get it? They're going to go, you abuse power, but because we do. Maybe, but why are we doing it? Like, are we doing it because of chimp instincts? Right. Like, I'm reading this book, The Chimp Paradox, recommended by Ronnie O'Sullivan. You ever heard of that book, The Chimp Paradox? That's what it's called, right? Make sure I get it right. [3:04:35] Thank you. [3:04:36] But it's all about you have like a person in your head and a chimp in your head. And you got to decide like when to listen to the chimp. Yeah, that's it. That's the book. Very good book on mental management.

[3:04:48] And Ronnie O'Sullivan is like one of the greatest snooker players of all time, if not the greatest. What game? Snooker. [3:04:54] They call it snooker. Snooker in England. It's a... [3:04:57] Crazy cool game that's like a pool game, but it's a way bigger table. It's like a 12-foot table. And there's different rules. [3:05:04] And I don't understand it totally. I don't know how the score goes. I've never played it, but [3:05:10] This guy was just a fucking wizard at it. But like most wizards, he's a crazy person. Sure. He had a hard time managing his mind. You know, he'd just go off the rails and think he was useless and think he could never win. Yeah. You know, and just whatever fucking mental demons you battle when you're truly brilliant at something. He recommended that book. [3:05:29] Doug, I thought I could just get into some weird space about Pythagoras' stuff. Some guy wrote an article about the math thing. Yeah. That was kind of in the title. Humans Internet Mathematics, it's what the world is made of. He wrote about it. [3:05:42] Pythagoras is revenge. Most people think mathematics is a human invention. To this way of thinking, mathematics is like a language. It may describe real things in the world, but it doesn't exist outside of the minds of the people who use it. [3:05:56] But the Pythagorean school of thought in ancient Greece held a different view. Its proponents believed reality is fundamentally mathematical. More than 2,000 years later, philosophers and physicists are trying to take this idea seriously. As I argue in a new paper, mathematics is an essential component of nature that gives structure to the physical world. [3:06:17] honeybees in hexagons. Bees live in hives, produce hexagonal

[3:06:23] Honeycomb. Why? According to the honeycomb conjecture in mathematics, hexagons are the most efficient shape for tilling the plane. If you want to fully cover a surface using tiles of a uniform shape and size while keeping the total length of the perimeter to a minimum, hexagons are a shape to use. Have you seen when someone... [3:06:42] test if honey is real or not, and they put honey on a... [3:06:44] plate and it just starts forming a hexagon. Sick! What? Is that real? Bees are so metal, dude. They are so metal. You know who's more metal? Tell me. [3:06:57] The wasps who behead the bees. Don't get me started on wasps. Oh, dude. Those wasps who come in and just wipe out an entire colony. There's a big ass wasp infestation, I think, coming next summer to California. Oh, wasps are scary. Dude, aren't they just assholes? Like they don't even have predators? Like they don't even serve any purpose except to just kick the shit out of these? I don't know what purpose. They serve other than scare the fuck out of me. Although bears eat the larvae. [3:07:21] Oh, really? Yeah. Dude, I got stung by a wasp. [3:07:25] If you go underwater, they'll wait for you. [3:07:27] I don't know. [3:07:29] They wait. [3:07:30] they're like the Belgian Malinois in the insect world. They're just dicks. Like, they're just, instead of moving on, they wait. Whereas a bee doesn't want to sting you. If you get stung by a bee, like... [3:07:40] Well, a hornet can sting you over and over again. A wasp can sting you over and over again. A bee can only sting you once and it's dead. It's only stinging you to get you the fuck away from the queen. Yeah, they don't want to sting you. Yeah. They want you to get the fuck away from the queen or get the fuck away from the hive. They don't just want to sting you for no reason. You went to the bee lady, I think, on here. Yes. She DMed me about something because I was like,

[3:07:58] I'll, like, get bees out of my pool all the time when they're, like, drowning, even though they do have the ability to make their wings go so fast that they can get out of the water when they go in circles. So sick. But I was, like, rescuing them from my pool. And she was like, if a bee is out, that means they're a forager bee and they're going to die in a couple days anyway. That's some shit. Oh, so you're risking your life. I've for, like, just for two minutes, yeah. Trying not to drown. Yeah, I'm just stopping Darwinism. I found a few videos. It could be bullshit, apparently, but it's... [3:08:21] It is weird when you pour water into the... [3:08:24] Honey... [3:08:25] It starts forming... A hexagon? [3:08:27] Like a honeycomb. Whoa. What? And they're saying it's like a memory, which everyone says that's bullshit, but it's doing that. How's that not just water bubbles mixed in with the honey? When people have done fake honey, it dilutes it in a different way, but someone in the top comment here said they did the same thing and it happened. That was one of the things that beekeeper lady was telling us is a lot of honey's bullshit. It's got corn syrup in it. Oh, yeah. I mean, as I have my two jars of honey in front of me, but I do try when I travel to eat local honey when I land. Yeah. [3:08:54] Yeah, she said that's bullshit too, that thing about it like helping your immune system. But I don't know how you would know that. Placebo effect is an effect, so now what? It's good for you though. Honey is good for you. There's some good aspects to it. Manuka honey, anything on that topically? I think that's a scam. She said they just had a good PR agent. [3:09:12] Good for them. But there is psychedelic honey. Do you know about that? Yeah, this is wild because the way they have to collect it, it grows on cliff sides. So these guys, they have to repel and risk their fucking life to get this honey that makes you trip balls. Because there's a special kind of flower, I guess, that has a psychedelic compound in it. And I don't know what that compound is. A guy brought it in. I tried it. It was interesting. He said, just take a half a spoonful. So I said, fuck you. We're going in.

[3:09:42] Spoonful. I'm like, let's see. Let's see what's up. It's something. There's something there. Is there something about the sugar? [3:09:55] How crazy is that? So this guy's on this giant rope ladder and probably doesn't have any safety equipment. Is that a mushroom? Oh, whoa. Those are all the hives. That's how they grow. Under cliffs. So sick. It's nuts. And what is it that if a bee stings you, does it help with inflammation? Sometimes. Yeah. Sometimes it helps people with arthritis and shit. Yeah. Like bee stings. People have used them to alleviate certain forms of arthritis. Make sure that's true. [3:10:20] Or the, yeah, the pain is so severe that you just. You hear about the lady that fell out of a plane? [3:10:25] I think she was skydiving. I think it was a skydiving exercise. And she landed on a fire ant colony. Yes. And they kept her alive because they stung the fuck out of her and her adrenaline literally kept her alive. Is that also what I remember? I had my ear. Look at that. Look at that little motherfucker. So sick. Honey bee sting therapy. How it works. Okay. How's it work? Click on it. This one says too risky for treating osteoarthritis. I think it's. Oh, don't be a pussy. Yeah. That's just because they can patent bees. [3:10:53] I mean, isn't that what acupuncture is like based on? If they get patent bees, then they would make you do it. Yeah. Yeah. Bill Gates is buying all the bees. They would force you. You need to get vaccinated for arthritis. And it would be like, arthritis is costing us so much. Arthritis is actually a disease. It's costing us so much money. That's it. And we've patented bees. So we're going to, you got, you have to get stung by our bees.

[3:11:16] Yeah. That's so funny. It's like, it didn't NMN, didn't they start taking that off the market so they could make it prescription now or something? Is that true? [3:11:23] They're probably trying to do a lot of that. They're trying to keep certain peptides from becoming legal. It's silly. It's all good for people. I know you're not going to make money off of it. It doesn't mean it's not good for the overall human race. You shouldn't be able to stop products that are super beneficial just because you can't profit off of them. That means you have a captive industry. That's not good for anybody. It's not good for you that you're allowed to do that. You shouldn't be allowed to do that. It's not good for anybody else. [3:11:52] Peptides are really beneficial to people, and some of them are okay as long as they're making a ton of money off them, like these Wagovi peptides, the ones that like GLP-1 inhibitors. Do you know the numbers of people that are on those now? It's cookie. [3:12:08] It's like... [3:12:08] More than 10 million in this country. What's the number of people that are on? 21. [3:12:13] GLP-1s. [3:12:14] And is that also called... [3:12:17] Ozempic? That's right. Yeah. Well, Govi, Ozempic. There's a bunch of different names for them. But basically, it's a GLP-1. It's a peptide. [3:12:25] Thank you. [3:12:25] And I mean, there's good press about it. There's bad press about it. It's like, [3:12:29] you know the person i saw this morning like she's like i lost 60 pounds like i was gonna like it was you know she's like even if there's side effects like i i was gonna get diabetes like it was bad you know like 100 obesity was our big problem so you know it's like almost everything there's like goods and bad stuff like i said i took accutane when i was i think 14 or 15 and they're like oh well side effect is you're suicidal i'm like when you're 15 and you have acne you're

[3:12:59] Okay, no full year total, exact full year total, publicly available from major sources as data through September shows rapid growth but lacks a December closeout. [3:13:11] TruVeta data reports 12,203,009 GLP-1 prescriptions from January 2018 to September 2025. Wow. [3:13:25] 12 million prescriptions is a lot. [3:13:28] But I got to think that's way more today because in 2018, you're not getting a lot of people. Like I would like to see like a chart of when it kicks in. So it's 6.5 percent of all U.S. prescriptions up slightly from prior quarters. And when you're insurance companies, they should theoretically support it and pay for it. Well, definitely if you're morbidly obese, it'll prevent you from a lot of real problems of morbid obesity. If you really get it together with this shit. And then when there's a bunch of negative stuff about it, I'm like, did the lap band pay for this? [3:13:58] have side effects. Like Brian Simpson took it and he had horrible side effects. He had to get off of it. [3:14:04] But it also, there's a lot of people that took it and they lost 100 pounds, and they're way healthier than they would be before. [3:14:10] The way Brigham Bueller from Waste to Well Describe, he says it has to be taken conjunction with other things that keep your body from wasting away. And you should be doing strength. Peter Atti has talked about this as well. You should be doing strength training while you're doing it. Because you're going to lose weight because you're at a calorie deficit. So you're going to lose muscle too. And you're going to lose bone density. So you've got to mitigate that. So there's an idea that they would combine them.

[3:14:40] and the two of them together keep you from wasting away. Yeah, I was doing like that metformin for a minute. And I was like, yeah, you lose muscle mass, but you're like, but also the effect of sugar, like, you know, so now I'll just take it every now and then when I eat like a lot of pasta or I want to have like a, you know. The metformin one's very polarizing. Yeah. A lot of people really believe in it. A lot of people think it's a crazy idea. Yeah. Yeah. [3:15:01] I'm pretty steady. I do like the NMN... [3:15:05] NR, which is like the true nitrogen stuff. I mean, Hubermanism, just like tell me what to do. NAC... [3:15:11] Uh... [3:15:12] I'm like, I'm sauna. [3:15:15] And then also sometimes it's like the absence of things. Sometimes like, what are you doing? It's like, what are you not doing? Like, there's a point where you're just like, I, that person's an acquaintance, not a friend. Like there's certain, like, I feel like maybe it's when you become a mom, you have to also reassess like your emotional diet or your mental diet as well. Yeah. You just have to do that as an adult anyway. True. Otherwise you're just going to want to. [3:15:38] problems all the time that are totally avoidable. And they're not, these people just, they make the same fucking mistakes over and over and over again. They drag you into their bullshit. And you don't want to change. Like you're in like, you're addicted to adrenaline. I'm obsessed with all the addictions that aren't like a substance, drugs, alcohol. It's like, Oh, you're a gambling addict just with women or just with men or like you're an adrenaline, a drama addict. Like I can't, [3:16:01] It's like, do you, this is how I say it. Do you look forward to hanging out with that person? And if you don't, then it's a chore. [3:16:07] If you look forward to hanging out with someone, like even if they're crazy, it's like, all right, it's okay. Yeah, totally. It's okay. This is fun. It's –

[3:16:14] it's all like, what are we all doing? We're all trying to get along together. If one of us is not trying to do that, one of us is out for self. There's certain people that are just [3:16:27] they just can't get their shit together. Yeah. And desperate people do desperate stuff. And I think that with what we do, like, you know, it's interesting because some friendships, you know, they'll just be like, Oh, come on the podcast. And it's like, we haven't hung out though, either. Like we don't text like comics. I think it becomes transactional. It starts feeling weird. Such a big part of what you've done, like for comedy is like, you know, that green room and having a space that's like not on camera, like comics, I think started going so crazy during the [3:16:57] were monetized and for public consumption we stopped just hanging out off camera right and a lot of people were doing it remotely so they were having podcasts remotely with their friends that was like their only human interaction that's right that's so bad nothing i did during the pandemic should have been filmed but like you know we also have to actively go out of our way to be off camera too guys you know yeah well communities like it's so important yeah the people that don't think it's [3:17:27] you get to hang out and have fun together it's like yeah it's like a like it's like stepping into a well of love like that's it oh we're all here what's up and also just like like you know i don't have to tell you you know those comics that you like look up to so much of their legends and then all of a sudden they just stop being funny and you're like how did this happen you know whether it's because they've you know incubated themselves against uh you know doing what normal people do on

[3:17:57] comics it's always that it's like how did that person say they're just not friends with comics and they don't have someone humbling them constantly and pushing back and giving them shit and and all the motivations that got them to be funny when they were younger have been eliminated because almost all of it is try to get extra attention that's right from girls or from your friends you're trying to be funny you have no motivation to be funny anymore because everybody loves you and you're rich and being a comic is a lot i think of like having almost intentional [3:18:27] Like it's a crazy premise. Like sometimes stand up is like saying something that isn't true and then proving it, you know, and to say some and have someone fight back with you. That's why I think comics, when people are like, why do comics talk about woke culture so much? It's like because we see disagreeing as an interesting conversation. [3:18:43] You guys see it as fascism. [3:18:47] Also, woke culture is trying to dictate what people can and can't say. And we can disagree. [3:18:53] And you can't tell me what I can and can't say. My body, my choice, but not what your mouth does. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't just say, you can't just start saying punch a Nazi. Like settle down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't figure out what a Nazi really is. Yeah. What are you saying? You're a Nazi because you don't think biological males should be competing with women in sports? Because I've heard that. [3:19:11] thrown out that way. Well, that's crazy talk. You don't get to define things like that. That's what you're doing when you're fighting against woke culture. You're fighting against nonsense that can't stand up to facts. And the thing about things that stand up to facts is people usually don't defend them violently. They usually discuss them clearly because it's obvious. But this one, it's not backed up by facts. So the opposition of it is like violent and angry. They want to

[3:19:42] It's just an ideology like any other one. It's got its own rules. And because it's not based on logic, it has to be very angry. It has to scare you. Did people look at hippies like this in the 70s? They wanted to do that. That's how the CIA tricked the fucking hippies into doing all that Manson shit. That's what they were trying to do with the whole Charles Manson. Have you ever read that Tom? The Chaos? What's it called? Chaos. Yes. I have it. I've started it. Tom O'Neill's book. It's fucking incredible. [3:20:11] Can't recommend it enough. Yeah. But it's all about them discrediting. So they were terrified of the love movement. They were terrified of all these people that were taking acid and going to Woodstock. And they were like, Jesus Christ, we're losing the cultural battle. And so they got together with Charles Manson and gave him a bunch of acid and taught him how to mind fuck people. And this guy went out and killed a bunch of people. And they blamed it on the hippies. They're like, oh, my God, we got to make acid illegal. [3:20:41] that year, [3:20:43] And then the whole world went kooky. They shut down all the psychedelics. That was the sweeping Schedule I act of 1970. When was the Manson murders? What year was the Manson murders? And while you're finding that, I'm obsessed with CIA. The Philippines operation in the 50s where they made it look like vampires sucked the blood of a bunch of the rebels. Have you seen this? Did it really? I've heard about this before. I forgot about it. It's so sick. 69. So the Manson murders happened in 69. Oh, yeah.

[3:21:13] DMT, all that stuff becomes illegal. [3:21:15] Schedule one. [3:21:19] That's crazy. They threw water on a movement of people abandoning [3:21:26] this. [3:21:27] path that they see their family on their mother and their father and they're not happy and these people are dying unhappy and they're getting heart attacks and they're dropping dead at 60 and these kids are saying I don't want that in my life. I want to follow the Grateful Dead. Yeah, I want to make art. I want to dance. I want to go to music festivals. I'll figure out how to live. Hmm. And they were like no fucking way. We don't want war. Make love dot war. What Americans in the street. [3:21:52] Yeah. Saying love, not war. Never before. Not 1947. Right. Think about the end of World War Two. You couldn't imagine Americans in the street. But in 1967, they're doing it. 1967, they don't want to go to Vietnam. And they're saying no to war. And they're in the street and they're wearing flowers. They call them flower children. Crazy. So they had to turn them into monsters. And so they got Manson. Women had to wear bras again. [3:22:19] nightmare, all that stuff. Like I got in a wormhole on the CIA and Hendricks and Cobain. I'm like, I just can't. There's certain things. I think they have their fingers in probably everything they can get their fingers in. Yeah. All of it. And do they have to? I think they do. Like if they didn't. In some ways, but the problem is they have power that they probably shouldn't have. And then there's always going to be some crazy guy who keeps pushing things. And next thing you know, you're selling Coke in Nicaragua.

[3:22:49] some like a myth in the philippines about this like vampire that would kill people whatever it was and then they in the middle of the night take these rebels that they need to deal with and they drain them of their blood and put sorry puncture i'm just obsessed with the guy that had to do the puncture marks like there's a guy who had to like do the vampire marks and so that everybody woke up and these rebels that they were following they saw that they had been attacked by vampires in it how did they kill them [3:23:13] Before they drain their blood. [3:23:16] How many dudes did they whack too? That's kind of crazy. That's so wild. That's a great idea. So sick. That's what I'm saying. Imagine if you were a fucking soldier and you thought you were really in a Blade movie. [3:23:26] You thought this shit was real? [3:23:29] If you're living in the Philippines and what – I mean I don't know what their education was. Sure. I imagine it's not the best. Yep. Yep. [3:23:35] You're fighting vampires. Right. Or you think vampires are. Yeah. Vampires are real. But imagine being the guy who was like, that's not real. The Philippines guy that's like, that's not real. And then I was like, oh, shit. That's crazy. Yeah. Or the guy who's like, told you. That's crazy. Yeah. Just the Kurt Metzger who's like, told you. What year was this? The 50s. Wow. It's the Oshwaga. Was it called the Oshwaga was the name of the. [3:23:58] vampires they were scared of? [3:24:03] People are so nuts. [3:24:04] But this is like when you read this stuff at the CIA and you're like, what are they doing now to make it look like this? And it's really that. So the CIA combat sciwar squad. [3:24:14] So it says, the Psywar squad set up an ambush along the trail used by the Hucks. When a Huck patrol came along the trail, the ambushers silently snatched the last man of the patrol, their move unseen in the dark night. They punctured his neck with two holes, vampire fashion, held the body up by its heels, drained it of blood, and then put the corpse back on the trail.

[3:24:37] When the Hucks returned looking for the missing man and found their bloodless comrade, every member of the patrol believed that the Aswang had got him and that one of them would be next if they remained on that hill. When daylight came, the whole Huck squadron moved out of the vicinity. [3:24:52] Wow, what a gangster. Yeah, I trained squad. How many times did they do it? [3:24:57] Thank you. [3:24:58] So sick. So what's the number of people that they did it to? Apparently only used once. [3:25:06] To dislodge a squadron. So it was only one time that they did one guy? Oh, it was only one body. [3:25:11] What a dope move. So sick. So sick. That's all you got to do to let the fear spread. I love that shit. I would run off that fucking mountain. I'm not convinced vampires aren't real. No. [3:25:20] I'm not convinced. I see what I saw. I know what I saw. [3:25:24] Even if it's an animal. I think mathematically they can't exist. [3:25:29] I think someone has actually done the numbers on this. [3:25:32] That mathematically vampires would wind up killing everyone? [3:25:36] Oh, interesting. It would be nothing but vampires. No, what are you talking about? Someone else researched it and said that it might not have even worked because they didn't have a vampire-like lore in the region. [3:25:46] They had something else where they said that they fed on fetuses of pregnant women. Who's this hater dork? Fed on fetuses of pregnant women. [3:25:53] Oh, God. [3:25:55] Yeah, but either way... [3:25:57] It's a monster that drained the guy of its blood by biting him in the neck. But it's also like there's not vampires. Oh, there's just the American CIA. Even worse. I'd rather there be fucking vampires, dude. Fuck! That description was from the CIA guy. If they even tried to do it, we're all so fucked. Which description was from the CIA guy? That one that you read was from Lansdale, and Lansdale is this guy who... Yeah, that guy is a vampire. What are you talking about?

[3:26:21] So he's the ad exec turned CIA operative who masterminded the plot. What a fucking genius. I love shit like that. What a genius move. But there's something going on here right now that is that. Imagine being in a room doing coke and pitching that idea. Okay, guys, I have an idea. [3:26:37] Fucking vampires. You know that hole puncher that we use down here? I have an idea. And everyone was like, for a second. How do you snatch the guy and you have to keep him from yelling? So you have to cover his mouth. [3:26:49] He's got to be the last guy on the patrol. You have to snatch him so the guy right in front of him doesn't hear it. [3:26:55] That's a lot of muffling. You've got to keep him from screaming. You've got to hold on to his body. Keep him from fighting back. Don't you think they put something like a needle with a... It doesn't sound like they did. Not yet? [3:27:05] It sounds like they just held that guy and cut his fucking neck and then hung him up by his ankles. This is always my thing. If this is what we know, what do we not know? Oh, we don't know a lot. Anything. We don't know a lot. Especially when crazy stuff comes out. I'm like, if this is like Epstein-less, whatever. If this is what they told us, it's so bad. They did one vampire thing. That was the first time they ever did that. They had to practice a couple times. That's right. A few times it didn't work at all. They had to practice blindfolding. They had to scream. They had to kill everyone. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[3:27:35] The Eye of God. [3:27:58] The mysterious presence of these malevolent eyes the next morning had a sharply sobering effect, wrote Lonsdale. [3:28:04] Okay. [3:28:05] That's crazy. Isn't it like – Lansdale. Does stuff like that make you feel like – [3:28:09] People are monsters. Like, we're like, fake news. News has just always been fake. Like, maybe this is the realest, truest news we've ever had. [3:28:18] When you think about back then, it was all just gossip. [3:28:20] Yeah, um... [3:28:22] Well, I think they definitely controlled the news way better back then. And they can do things like the Gulf of Tonkin, where they just decide that they're going to pretend that we got attacked so that we can go to war. And who knows how many people died because of that. And that's crazy that they did it and got away with it. That's a real tactic. I think this is the crazy part, is that he was an ad whiz for all these companies. And then he volunteered to go to the Army, and they recognized his special talents. He's like, I'm not getting enough evil done working for Nabisco. [3:28:52] of psychological operations. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I started psyops. This is fascinating because this is like, I've worked, I sell jeans that cost $10 for 80 bucks. Like, trust me, I know how to trick people.

[3:29:08] Like, it's so fascinating when you're like people went from working in an ad agency to sell products to like, [3:29:14] convincing people vampires were real. Fucking genius. Yeah. I mean, it's genius. I love that shit. Genius. What a great idea. And what's the genius thing now that we're being convinced of that's like. Oh, I bet they do some of the stuff just for fun to keep practicing. Remember like charcoal toothpaste was a thing. I'm like, what? I use that every day. Charcoal in your mouth. In my mouth. [3:29:34] It works. It works. Because charcoal absorbs... [3:29:38] It cleans your teeth. It's really good at cleaning your teeth. Where did we land on this root canals are bad thing? I don't know about that. I've been, I'm meaning to talk to my orthodontist about it. I haven't had a chance. [3:29:48] I'm just trying to figure out. I know a bunch of people that are thinking about getting their root canals removed and getting a post put in. I'm like, is that better? Are you going to get a fucking drill bit? [3:29:57] But isn't it more about opening it and bacteria getting in and getting into your lining of your brain? I can't. I know. Me too. I'm like, dude, I've been sucking on coconut oil and doing black seed oil in my mouth. It's like, tell me what to do. I'll start eating charcoal if that's what needs to happen. So this is, I don't know. But like, yeah, what are the things that we're kind of like falling for right now or being scared of? Like, I feel like there are a lot of tests. Well, what are the things that are bothering us that we don't know about, like the Iridium Girls? [3:30:24] Like what about Wi-Fi? What if we find out that Wi-Fi is making us less and less in tune with our life or less in tune with our environment or dulls a certain part of your brain? I think with or without the like beams harming us, the phone is doing that anyway, right? Has there been any long-term problems?

[3:30:43] studies on sci-fi or excuse me, cell phone signals on their interference with things other than bees? Because I know they do interfere with bees. Well, isn't that it was that confirmed because it was also could have been fertilizer. And I think there's something there's a reason why they believe that it has an impact. [3:31:03] What is the reason why they think cell phone signals have an impact on bees? Impact on bees. I think that's not pseudoscience. I think there's a real reason for believing that. Because they – There's something about how they navigate and what they do, that those signals that are in the air with them could fuck them up. I don't understand. I have a lot of Wi-Fi at my house and I have bees fucking everywhere. But, yeah. That may be why. They're like, where the hell are we? Yeah, yeah. Maybe it's like – Maybe it's like 11 when they turn on the sirens. [3:31:33] listening to like whale sounds a lot oh that's so crazy and i because when you have a baby in you it's like an amphibian it's breathing right fluid right that's smart and then i was like but what if these whales are like fighting like i don't know what they're saying a bunch of race yeah yeah yeah yes cell phone signals can affect bees causing behavioral changes like increased agitation and worker piping an alarm sound indicating disturbance [3:31:57] Those sensationalized claims linking them directly to mass colony collapse are not fully supported by science. Studies show bees are sensitive to the electromagnetic fields from active phones disrupting their normal communication and potentially leading to disorientation. So here's the thing.